Proposed Budget: £2.50
Actual Expenditure:
Balti pan £15.00
Electric grinder £14.99
Blender £18.99
Wooden spoon 35p
Apron £9.99
Two chicken breasts £1.98
300g mushrooms 79p
Onion 29p
Coriander seeds £1.29
Fennel seeds £1.29
Allspice £1.29
Cumin seeds £1.29
Cloves £1.39
Ground ginger £1.95
Bay leaves £1.40
Chili powder
OH GOD, FORGET IT.
PGNI FIRST BANK VISA 7 Camel Square
Liverpool L1 5NP
Ms. Rebecca Bloomwood
Flat 24 Burney Rd.London SW6 8FD
6 March 2000
Dear Ms. Bloomwood: PGNI First Bank VISA Card No. 1475839204847586 Thank you for your letter of 2 March.I can assure you that our computers are regularly checked, and that the possibility of a “glitch,” as you put it, is remote. Nor have we been affected by the millennium bug. All accounts are entirely accurate.You may write to Anne Robinson at Watchdog if you wish, but I am sure she will agree that you have no grounds for complaint.Our records inform us that payment on your VISA account is now overdue. As you will see from your most recent VISA card statement, the minimum payment required is £105.40. I look forward to receiving your payment, as soon as possible.Yours sincerely,Peter Johnson Customer Accounts Executive
Eight
OK, SO PERHAPS THE Cutting Back didn’t go that well. But it doesn’t matter, because that’s all in the past. That was negative thinking — now I’m seriously into positive thinking. Onward and upward. Growth and prosperity. M.M.M. It’s the obvious solution, when you think about it. And you know what? Suze is absolutely right. Making More Money suits my personality far better than Cutting Back did. I’m already feeling much happier. Just the fact that I don’t have to make any more grotty cheese sandwiches, or go to any more museums, has lifted a huge weight off my soul. And I’m allowed to buy all the cappuccinos I like, and start looking in shop windows again. Oh, the relief! I’ve even chucked Controlling Your Cash in the bin. I never did think it was any good.
There’s a long pause, as Clare blushes deep red. I can’t believe this. A piece of office scandal at last! And involving Clare Edwards, of all people!
“Oh, come on, Clare,” I whisper. “You can tell me. I won’t tell anyone.” I lean forward sympathetically. “I might even be able to help.”
“Yes,” says Clare, rubbing her face. “Yes, that’s true. I could do with a bit of advice. The pressure’s starting to get to me.”
“Start from the beginning,” I say calmly, just like Dear Abby. “When did it all begin?”
“OK, I’ll tell you,” whispers Clare, and looks nervously about. “It was about. . six months ago.”