Wedging my arm between my body and the bed, I push aside my shorts and my underwear. I gasp as my most sensitive parts are exposed to the air, then moan as my fingers reach my clit.
ElectricJay20: How does it feel, baby?
“It feels so good, Daddy... So wet and...sensitive.” I stroke my clit like I do when I’m alone in bed with no cameras on, thinking about Jay...or Jonathan.
Again, I keep picturing Jonathan on the other side of the screen, fisting his cock, calling me his baby. I try to imagine someone else in his place, but it doesn’t work. So instead of fighting with myself, I picture two men: Jonathan with his big, veiny monster cock in front of me, and the faceless, mysterious Jay behind me, whispering in my ear.
ElectricJay20: Daddy needs you so bad, baby.
ElectricJay20: I’ll die if I don’t get inside you.
I rub my clit faster. In the fantasy, when I call out for Daddy, both men answer. When I beg Daddy to fuck me, Jay reaches around to spread my legs so Jonathan can push inside me.
ElectricJay20: Do you want Daddy to be the first man inside you, little girl?
“Yes, Daddy. I want you to be the first. I’ve been saving it for you.” I can feel my orgasm surging like a river after a rainstorm, rising higher, breaking over the banks, rushing around the bend. My clit pulses against my fingers.
ElectricJay20: Because you’re Daddy’s good girl.
ElectricJay20: and Daddy loves you.
Pleasure washes over and through me. I moan into the pillow as my whole body shakes with the force of my orgasm. Colors burst behind my closed eyelids. With each additional swipe of my fingers, I feel a deep, internal throb, dragging out my climax, spreading the pleasure all through me.
I open my eyes to reread Jay’s last message and find a new one below it.
ElectricJay20: Fuck Daddy’s coming too
I picture cum spurting from the head of his cock onto the keyboard, splashing the screen, dripping down over my face and body. I’m sure Jay’s a lot more careful than that in real life, but I enjoy the visual.
It’s a good distraction from the message on my screen that I can’t bear to think about.
Daddy loves you.
There’s no way he meant it. Guys say all kinds of things during cam sessions, things that sound hot in the moment, but mean nothing once the camera turns off—
ElectricJay20: I meant what I said, baby.
My pulse leaps three stories.
“Oh... You know, you don’t have to say that, Jay. We were just roleplaying.” The words taste false, but I don’t want him doubling down just to avoid hurting me. I’d rather my heart get bruised tonight from a slip of the tongue—er, fingers—than have my heart broken a month from now when he tells me he never meant it.
ElectricJay20: I wasn’t just roleplaying.
ElectricJay20: I love you, baby girl.
I fight to keep my heartbeat steady. I know what I feel for Jay is real. It’s how I’ve felt for weeks, and although it hasn’t been a full month since we met, I can’t ignore our connection. It doesn’t matter that I’ve never seen his face or heard his voice.
He’s the man I keep coming back to every night.
“I love you, too, Daddy.”
six
Jonathan
The words might have come out in the heat of the moment, but that doesn’t make them any less true.
I’ve been in love with April since the day she turned up on my doorstep.
I didn’t think it was possible that she could love me, too. Technically, she doesn’t love me. She loves the man on the other side of the screen, the one she calls Daddy. I never thought of myself as kinky until I began roleplaying with April.
But I’m not just doing this to get her off.
I’d kill to be her Daddy—her real Daddy. All the time, in the flesh, guiding and protecting her. Making her dreams come true.
Maybe we’d have a real chance if I had stumbled upon her channel before she moved in with me. But that’s not how it happened. So instead, I have to lie to her every second of every day.
She could never forgive a betrayal like that, and she shouldn’t have to.
As badly as I want her, what we are now is all we can ever be.
Our relationship began online, and that’s where it’ll stay. Until she meets a man in real life who can give her all the things that ElectricJay20 just...can’t.
The next day, when April asks if she can have her parents over for Sunday dinner, I pretend to think it over, like I don’t already know her plans. “I should be able to finish the living room by the weekend, but the dining room still needs work.”
“We can eat in the kitchen,” she says. Then she tacks on, “You’re welcome to join us, by the way. I’m planning on making my grandma’s homemade mac and cheese.”