She said none of that. She kept her voice flat, devoid of any emotion. “It doesn’t matter. It won’t happen again.”
Please let this be enough.
If being curt hadn’t been enough, this wouldn’t be either, but Erinwished anyway. She didn’twantto hurt Cassie, even if it was the right decision. Certainly a better decision than the ones she’d been making lately.
“How many times have you told yourself that?” Cassie asked.
Erin turned around in her chair. What a mistake.
Cassie’s blond hair was a lion’s mane. Erin wanted to bury her hands in it. She wanted to trail her fingers high up Cassie’s bare legs to where her pajama shorts brushed loose against her thighs. Through the thin white tank top, Erin could see Cassie’s nipples. Wild hair and pajamas and all, Cassie managed to look both imposing and alluring.
Erin tried to hold on to her affront. “Excuse me?”
“I’m wondering how many times you’ve lied to yourself about it never happening again,” Cassie said. “Surely you told yourself it wouldn’t happen again when you found out I went to school with your kid. And then again at breakfast. Probably again after you followed me to the bathroom during the a cappella concert, right? And when Parker invited me to visit—obviously then, with how bitchy you were on the phone. Did you tell yourself it wouldn’t happen when you bought this necklace?” Cassie held up the rocket ship pendant hanging around her neck. “When you hugged me in the airport? And now, afteryouwere the one who kissedme.”
She was gorgeous in her indignation. Resplendent. And she was right. She brought up everything Erin hadn’t wanted to. She was smart and beautiful andbrave,making herself vulnerable like this, even if she couched it in resentment.
Nuclear was the only option.
Without giving herself a chance to change her mind, Erin pushed her hair out of her face and shrugged. “Look, Cassie, I’ll admit you’ve been good for my ego. It’s nice to know I’ve still got it.”
Cassie’s anger wavered. The look on her face leaned more toward despair. Like she couldn’t believe this was the route Erin was taking.
“It feels good to catch the eye of a younger woman.” Erin’s stomach heaved like it was going to rebel. “But this isn’t, like, a thing. I don’t need some kid with mommy issues obsessing about my feelings, okay?”
Cassie’s eyes flashed. Back to anger. Good. That was easier to deal with.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“You obviously don’t have a good relationship with your mother. It makes sense you’d be drawn to some sort of mother figure. I don’t—”
“I don’t want you to be mymom. I want to fuck you.”
Jesus. The way Cassie didn’t just know what she wanted, but owned it. Erin had to go through six months of therapy before she even mentioned the worddivorce.
“Well—I want to fuck you when you’re not being such a cunt,” Cassie amended. “My relationship with my mom has nothing to do with you. And, not that it’s any of your business, but I have anamazingmother figure. I’m sure it’s different for bitchy, rich Daughters of the American Revolution or what the fuck ever, but blood doesn’t mean shit.”
With that, she turned on her heel and left.
Erin counted to five before releasing her breath and letting her shoulders slump. She didn’t evenknowanything about Cassie’s relationship with her mother. It was just the easiest target she could come up with. Easier to make Cassie feel awful, to make Cassie hate her than to admit there was anything between them.
It didn’t matter that it made her feel awful, too.
Erin went grocery shopping to get out of the house. When she returned, as she set the bags on the kitchen counter, Parker came into the kitchen.
“I’m about to head to Dad’s. Have you seen Cassie today?”
Erin focused on the bags in front of her. “She came down for coffee before I went shopping.”
“Did she seem off?”
“I don’t think so.” She put the milk in the fridge. Nonchalant. Normal. “Why?”
“I don’t know. She’s usually down here with you in the mornings.”
“Only because you’re usually asleep,” Erin snapped.
That was too defensive. She could feel Parker’s eyes on her as she continued to unload groceries.