And as for Mary Priscilla...
I knew the girl would rather wear denim than admit it, but the brat had been quite the loner since her mysterious death in the sixties. She had been this close to turning into a poltergeist out of sheer boredom, and once that line was crossed...
Well, let's just say I had saved the world from the worst nightmare that could've been, the day I started seeing ghosts, and annoying me had consequently become Mary Priscilla's renewed purpose in the Afterlife. I'd like to keep it that way as well, but since I was now LOTUS, and I'd have to spend more and more time in the Underworld—-
"You're looking at me that way again," Mary Priscilla said suspiciously.
"No! I mean, um, what way?"
"Like you think I'd be sad when you go."
"Well, won't you?"
"I won't die when you leave for the Underworld," she grumbled. "I'm already dead, remember?"
I let out a gasp. "Oh my. Is that an actual joke I'm hearing?"
Mary Priscilla made a face, and since I wasn't above such things, I made a face right back.
"You're so childish," she muttered.
"Childlike," I corrected her. "I have a childlike—-"
But the brat simply cut me off, asking, "Isn't the Underworld full of ghosts already? Why would you need another one?"
"Well—-"
"Or is it because you have an actual job for me over there?"
The cautiously hopeful expression on her face was all the clue I needed, and I heard myself agree rashly, "Yes, indeed. You hit the nail on the head." I could already hear the ARM groaning in my head as the words left my mouth, but as if such rashness wasn't enough—-
"You mean it, Saoirse? You guys really have a job for me?"
I went on to dig a deeper hole for myself as an even bigger and dumber lie left my lips—-
"If you really want to know, it was my husband who came up with the idea."
Mary Priscilla's face glowed with genuine joy, and I felt torn between happiness and panic. Since this brat only usually smiled when she had succeeded in scaring the bejeezus out of a human being...surely I was doing the right thing here?
I mean...only someone heartless would make a little girl stop smiling because of something as inconsequential as the truth, and when Mary Priscilla even started jumping like a normal second-grade kid—-
Definitely doing the right thing, I tried convincing myself.
"What kind of job would I have?" Mary Priscilla suddenly asked.
"It's...um..." Shit. My mind drew a blank, and so I ended up stammering, "It's a surprise."
"Just give me a hint then," the little girl insisted.
"Well..."
"Just one hint, please."
"It's...um..." I could feel myself starting to panic as absolutely nothing came to mind, and just as I was leaning towards admitting to Mary Priscilla it was all a lie, a rather unexpected sight caught my eye—-
"I guess." Mary Priscilla sounded wary. "It wasn't there yesterday though, which is weird."
"It's not weird," I protested. "All that means is today is its grand opening or something."
The kid shook her head. "I don't think it's that simple—-"
"Of course it's that simple," I said airily. "Can't you act like an eight year old girl for once and just have fun?"
"Only if you act like the middle-aged woman that you are—-"