My expression falters at the soft colors created with delicacy, as if each stroke of the brush meant something. The picture is of Ella and me in front of our house, but we’re not alone. Standing between us is a little girl with red hair like Ella’s and aqua eyes the same shade as mine.
“I don’t know if it’s going to be a girl,” she says quietly as I stare at the painting in astonishment. “In fact, I was originally going to paint a boy, but when I actually started to paint it, it came out a girl, probably because I keep dreaming it’s going to be a girl.”(
That’s when what she’s telling me really clicks.
I turn my head and look at her with uncertainty. Not because of my own feelings, but because I fear what’s going on with her. She’s been so afraid of being a mother, and I’m not sure if she’s happy, sad, scared, or what.
“This is…” I trail off, clearing my throat. “When did this happen?”(
She blows out an uneven breath. “Remember that night about two months ago on the piano? Well, I got a little off whack with my pills, and we got so caught in the moment I sort of forgot.” Her chest heaves as she struggles to breathe. “I’ve known for a couple of weeks. That’s why Lila went to the doctor with me that day, to find out for sure. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I was just freaking out that I’d be too sad and ruin everything for you.”
“But you don’t seem sad now.” Anxious, yes. Scared, sure. Sad, not really.
She shrugs. “I’m coming to terms with it... Caroline kind of helped me this morning with a few things.”(
I swallow the lump in my throat. “So, you’re for sure… pregnant?”(
She swiftly nods. “Lila thought it’d be fun if I told you in some way special, so we came up with the painting idea.” She fidgets with the hem of her dress. “I’m not so sure now that it was a good idea, springing it on you like this. You look… a little pale.”
“I feel a little pale, but only because I’m trying to read you. I mean, we’ve talked about this enough that I was seriously starting to wonder if you’d ever be okay with having kids. And then it accidentally happened…” I trail off as I battle down my excitement. The last thing I want to do is celebrate if she’s not ready for that.
“I’ll be fine, Micha,” she assures me, tangling her fingers with mine. “I’m not going to lie; I freaked the fuck out when Lila first suggested it to me. But, the more time goes by, the more… I don’t know… I could see myself getting really into this.”
Smashing my lips together, I press back a smile, not wanting to get too excited until I know that she’s one-hundred percent okay with this. “Are you sure you’re good with this? Because you can always tell me how you feel. You know that, right?”(
She nods. “I do. And I’m not going to lie; I’m still scared as hell, but the idea of this”—she gestures at the last image on the canvas—“it makes me feel kind of bubbly inside sometimes when I think about it.”(
I let my smile slip through. “Good, because it makes me really, really happy.”(
“Are you sure?”
“Of course. I mean, I’m terrified as shit, but in a good, nervous, scared sort of way.”
When she smiles, I scoop her up in my arms and hug her tightly.
“Best Christmas present ever,” I say then press my lips to hers.
Chapter 11
A little less than two months later…
Ella
As I stand in front of the alter, waiting for the minister to pronounce Ethan and Lila husband and wife, all I can think is, my feet hurt so bad.
At a little over four months pregnant, heels were not the best choice of footwear. But, I love Lila enough that I’m trying to be a good sport and suck it up. Besides, she did have to go to over five stores to find the perfect bridesmaid’s dress that would fit over my little belly.
To endure the pain, I focus on the best man standing across from me, looking smoking hot in a black tux. I never really thought a tux could be sexy, but I’ll admit, I think my mind was changed today.
Micha and I exchange a wary look. “Maybe,” we say simultaneously then sputter a laugh.
Ethan steps up to the side of Lila and swings his arm around her. “Relax, wife.” The word causes a grin to spread across Lila’s face.
Moments later, Ethan pinches her ass then bolts out the door toward the limo parked outside.
“Oh, he’s so dead for that.” She marches after him, the train of her dress swishing behind her.
Micha and I take hands and follow them out, getting into the limo that will drive us to the reception. On the way there, Ethan pops open a bottle of champagne to celebrate. He pours everyone a glass except for me. As if he’s planned it, he reaches into his jacket pocket and retrieves a juice box.