—Empress!— I couldn’t think, quickening my pace even more.
But Jackson kept at me. “I’m good enough to travel with, to fool around with, but not to have sex with? You can take the girl out of Sterling . . .”
“That’s not . . . it’s not something I’m just going to throw away on a boy like you.”
He stopped cold. I couldn’t help but glance over my shoulder again.
He’d clenched his fists until tendons strained in his neck. “Like me?” He threw back his head and bellowed to the sky before facing me. “What is so goddamned wrong with me?”
He lunged forward, seizing my arm. “ ’Cause I didn’t have money? That it? ’Cause of where I’m from? From the first day we met, you’ve looked down your nose at me. You’ve laughed at me, you’ve messed with my head.”
“Money?” How had we started talking about that ? The whole concept of it was fading from my mind, having as much significance to me as movie tickets or search engines.
My temples were aching, the wind bombarding me, confusion bombarding me. When had I messed with his head? “What are you talking about?” I flung off his grip, trudging forward again.
He followed. “In school, you treated me like I was something you needed to scrape off the bottom of your boot!”
I didn’t bother hiding my bewilderment. “I was always nice to everyone. Everyone. We just got off to a bad start. And things went downhill.”
I slowed when I came upon another intersection. All the estates around here had gates, all of them looking similar. Was I heading deeper into this neighborhood? I took another right.
So did Jackson. “Tell me you never think about the difference between how I grew up—and how you did. Or what you saw in my house that last night!”
“Oh, I think about it. And I regretted judging you for beating that man. Or at least, I did before you were such an a**hole! Why are you dragging the past into this anyway?”
“Because you said a boy like me!”
“Yeah, a selfish boy like you.”
“Selfish? You are calling me selfish?”
“In the pool, I thought you were asking me if I wanted more kissing—then the next thing I see is a condom? You couldn’t have cared less if I was freaked out because you skipped over all the bases I’d thought to expect, or nervous about your ancient-looking protection, or—or not ready to go that fast! In general. I didn’t expect you to declare, like, love for me forever or anything. But for my first time, I’d hoped for more than ‘It’s slim pickings out there.’ ”
He drew his head back, looking confounded. “Why didn’t you tell me any of that?”
“I started to! But you got all pissed—shocker—and I was angry that you’d interrupted things . . . things that I’d . . . really liked.” God, this was embarrassing! “None of this matters anyway. Looking back, I’m grateful it turned out the way it did.”
“And why’s that, you?”
“I don’t want to be with a boy who can replace me at the drop of a hat with a strange girl he knows nothing about!” Though I was yelling at him, he seemed to be growing less and less angry.
“Those are the only reasons?” he said over the wind.
I cried, “That’s not enough?” Another intersection?
—EMPRESS!—
I flinched with pain this time, taking another right. “And how dare you call me a miserable tease, Jackson! You are the tease. I thought things were great until you snatched the rug out from under me! So we both were hoping for something we didn’t get.”
Jackson and I were lockstep, out of breath, staring at each other. Then he just nodded.
“Nodding?” I nearly shrieked the word. “You’re nod—Ugh! I don’t understand you!”
“Just taking your point, cher.” He looked like all his anger had just evaporated.
While mine had ramped up. “You’ve accomplished what you came out here to do. You’ve confirmed that I’m a coo-yôn. No reason for you to stay with me any longer!”
He didn’t say anything, just hurried in front of me, striding backward, blocking the wind with his back. All considerate-like.
He was making me crazy! “I can’t keep up with your moods! Shouldn’t you be back playing house with Selena?” With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I realized that I’d taken so many rights I was almost back to her place.
“Well.” He rubbed his chin. “I never thought I’d see this.”
“See—what ?”
“The day when Evangeline Greene was jealous over ole Jack.”
“I am not!”
He laughed. “Your eyes are green with jalousie. It’s an awful feeling, ain’t it? How it rips at you inside.”
“Sounds like you’re talking from personal experience?” He said nothing, just kept staring at me. “Doesn’t matter. I couldn’t care less who you get with.”
—EMPRESS, EMPRESS, EMPRESS!—
I stumbled, palm flat on the ground before I righted myself. Okay, that one hurt. My eyes watered and my nose started to run.
Jackson lunged forward to catch my arm. “Evie!” All of a sudden he was yanking off his shirt, balling it up to shove it at my face. “Your nose is bleeding, bébé.”
“Oh.” I held the shirt against my nose, hating how much his scent comforted me.
“Another vision?” His brows were drawn with concern. “This is why you’re in such a rush, then?”
I dropped my gaze to his chest, staring at his rosary, realizing where I’d seen it before. His mother had been wearing it, the night of the Flash. He wore it to remember her? “Why should I tell you anything?” My voice was thick.
“Because if you tell me the truth, I might just get you wherever you need to go.”
The truth? I scanned my surroundings for any alternative—
And saw a familiar flourishing crest. I was at Selena’s once more. Shit! Back where I started from.
“You can trust me.” He pulled me closer.
“But I don’t trust her, Jackson.” Should I reveal that she was one of the voices? That I’d had disturbing visions of her? I recalled Matthew’s mysterious comment: Arcana means secrets; keep ours. Had he been warning me to keep my mouth shut to non-Arcana? Jackson was the only non-Arcana person I knew in the entire world. In any case . . . “If I tell you something, you might tell her.”
“I think she’s solid.”
I wanted to scream, “Of course you would! Because you slept with her!” But I bit my tongue. Without him, I would never make it out of the neighborhood—much less to Matthew’s in time.
“Evie, I woan tell her anything you doan want me to. I haven’t told her anything more than I’ve had to.”
So he hadn’t revealed anything about my visions or my grandmother. Seeing no other choice but to trust him with at least some of this, I said, “Do you remember the boy that I sometimes see, the one who lectures me? He’s not far from here. And he’s calling for me. Loudly. Jackson, I saw him trapped in a flooded basement. He’ll drown soon. And I get the feeling that . . . that I won’t be alive much longer without his help.” When Jackson didn’t reply, I added, “I just know it’s imperative that I reach him today.”
“You believe you’re goan to die if you doan find some strange kid you’ve never met? And you think you can find him?”
I adjusted the T-shirt against my nose and raised my chin.
Jackson gave a decisive nod. “All right.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’ll need an extra bow.” Selena had patted hers proudly.
“I’ll need you to stay here and take care of Evie.”
As I rolled my eyes, Selena had defiantly flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Save it, J.D. I’m going. Which means Evie is too.”
When he opened his mouth to protest, I’d said, “Sounds like ole Jack’s about to argue with two women . . . ?”
We’d siphoned some gas from the bikes, hidden them to pick up later, then headed toward Matthew’s again.