Sin swallows, then nods. “I figured. But I take no for an answer as well as you do. Dom, this shit happened six years ago. Think of everything that happened over the past six years. Now think of who has been with you that whole time. Me. I swear on my life that I will never f**k up like that again.”
Dom sighs, rubbing his face, then looking up at his brother. “I know. I know, Sin.”
I exhale the breath I’d been holding, and Sin stares at him.
“You know?”
Dom nods. “Yeah. I know. I’m still pissed at you, but I know.”
Sin stares at him hesitantly. “When you say you know, what do you mean?”
Dominic sighs. “I know that it was one night. You were both drunk and she wasn’t thinking clearly. You were nineteen and you were thinking with your cock. You didn’t know she got pregnant. You didn’t know that I made her get an abortion. You didn’t know any of it. It was a huge, f**ked-up mess, but I can’t dwell on it any longer. I’ll get over it. I’m not over it yet, but I’ll get over it.”
“You will?” Sin sounds hopeful, yet nervous. Dom nods.
“Yeah. Eventually. I can’t believe you f**king did it, but I’ll try to get over it. We’re brothers, and I know you’d never do it now. Right?”
Sin immediately shakes his head. “Fuck no. I’ve grown up, Dom. I would never try to take what’s yours. I didn’t try to take what was yours then, I was just too young and stupid to rein in my hormones. I won’t make that same mistake twice.”
Sin lifts Dom to his feet and pulls him into a hug. He practically clings to Dom as he murmurs into Dom’s hair.
“I didn’t know, dude. I swear to Christ I didn’t know that I was to blame for f**king you up. I swear to Christ. If I knew, I would’ve told you long ago.”
Dom doesn’t respond for a minute, but then wraps his arms around his brother, hugging him back. He’s reluctant, but it’s still a hug. It’s something.
“I’m sorry, man,” Sin tells him again, and I can honestly hear the sadness in his voice. “You know I loved Emma… but not like that. That night was just a mistake. Neither of us meant it.”
“I know,” Dominic nods. “I know.”
I can see from his face that he means it. He does know. And that’s a far cry from the Dominic that I saw two days ago. As we wind our way out to the veranda, I turn to him.
“That must’ve been some sleep you had.”
He smiles ever so slightly. “I don’t think I’ve slept a full night since Emma died. So, yeah. It was pretty good. I’m thinking more clearly now.”
Sin stops and turns to Dom, his dark blue eyes unsure. “Dom. I didn’t come alone. Cris is in the car. He’s in a bad way. Can you talk to him?”
I freeze, watching Dom. He knows that Cris was trying to protect his relationship with Sin, but knowing it and knowing it are two different things, because he also knows that Cris could’ve spoken up years ago.
“Fine,” Dom sighs. “I’m going to have to someday. It might as well be now.”
I breathe a sigh of relief as Sin and I watch him duck around the side of the house and head out to the car. In a minute, we see them through the windows of the house, sitting at the kitchen table and talking earnestly.
“Do you think they’re okay?” I ask Sin nervously. He eyes them, glancing at the way they’re angled toward each other, still talking.
“Well, there’s no blood yet, so that’s a good sign.”
I roll my eyes. “Oh, that’s helpful.”
They’re in there for what seems like forever, and when they come out, they’re both quiet.
“We have to do something,” Dom says to me, his voice serious and dark. “We all have to do something so that we get closure. But to do it, we need to go home.”
We’re on the jet within an hour.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Dominic
The faces staring back at me from around my parents’ dining room table are covered in a myriad of emotions. Sadness, anger, confusion, grief, guilt.
My parents, Fiona, Duncan, Cris, Emma’s parents, and, of course, Sin and Jacey are all here so we can discuss what happened to Emma. What I did, what Emma did, what Emma and Sin did. It’s not an easy conversation, but it’s one that needs to be had.
What Jacey said once about Emma’s parents’ needing closure was true. While they hated to hear what happened with Sin, with me, with their daughter getting an abortion, they at least know now.
They have a reason for the suicide, something that makes sense.
“So you can blame me,” I finally tell them quietly. “Emma and Sin slipped up, but they were kids. I’m the one who pushed her to get an abortion. The blame rests on my shoulders.”
Mr. Brandt grips his own hands tightly, so tight that his fingers turn white. But he doesn’t say anything. He just stares at the table.
Mrs. Brandt looks at me with Emma’s bright blue eyes, and they’re filled with tears. I fight the urge to look away, but I don’t. I expect to see hate in them, but I don’t.
“Dominic, it’s not your fault. It’s a tragedy and you just have to let it go. You do.”
A lump forms in my throat for the millionth time this month, and I swallow hard against it. “We just thought you should know,” I tell her quietly. “The truth is always necessary for real closure. A smart person told me that once.”
I squeeze Jacey’s hand under the table.
Everyone talks to each other quietly, and while it’s uncomfortable, a part of me is relieved. Jacey was right. Getting things into the light makes it easier to deal with them. I tune out everyone’s low voices and stare out the window.
Down by the pond the tree house hangs, faded and old. My heart constricts just looking at it, thinking of all the time Emma and I spent in it. And of what she and Sin had done in it. I swallow hard and glance up to find my father looking at me.
“Dom, come with me for a minute. I want to show you something.”
I follow him out of the house, out to the barn, and stare at him in confusion as he hands me a large mallet.
“You want to show me a mallet?” I raise an eyebrow.
“I love you,” I murmur to her, finally able to say the words. “I think I’ve known that for a while. I’m sorry that it’s taken so long for me to say it. I love you so f**king much.”
She smiles, a radiant white smile.
“All that matters is that you’re saying it now,” she says gently. “I love you too. I love you to the moon and back. You know that, right?”
I do.
“I want you to know that even though Emma was such a big part of my past, you are my future. You are my present. You’re everything, Jacey. I need you to know that. I love you more than anything, more than life itself.”