India
“India! India!”
I halt midstride toward my car in the teacher parking lot, and my eyes close. Pain streaks across my heart, a hot, bright-red ball of fire. But an instant later, I lift my lashes, paste a smile on my face, and turn around to face Rose.
After all, it’s not her fault her uncle left me an emotional wasteland.
It’s not her fault I did something as eternally dumb as fall in love with her uncle.
God, I’m such a cliché. Apparently, good dick did make me an idiot.
You know it’s so much more than that.
Yes, I do, for once agreeing with the know-it-all voice in my head. That’s the thing—it’s never just been all about the sex with me and Asa. From the beginning, I ran to him because he’d always represented a solid, safe port with his quiet, stalwart strength. In a life where uncertainty and unreliability had been my “normal,” his dedication to family, to the career he’d built out of the ashes of his dreams, even to Jessie, fed a greedy heart that had been deprived for so long. He’s a protector of those he cares about.
But he just doesn’t care enough. At least, not for me.
And that’s okay. I’ll be okay.
And eventually, if I keep telling myself that, I’ll start to believe it.
“Hey, Rose,” I greet the little girl. Arching an eyebrow, I take in her slightly lopsided braid, and suppress my reluctant smile. The braid actually looks better than Asa’s earlier efforts. He must be watching those YouTube videos I sent him. “What’re you doing here? Is everything okay?”
“Yes.” The little girl launches herself at me, wrapping her arms around my waist. “I missed you. Where were you yesterday? I asked Ms. Hesche where you were but she said you didn’t come to school. Uncle Asa was looking for you, too.”
My heart seizes at the mention of Asa’s name, and I try to keep the panic out of my voice as I pat her back. But there’s nothing I can do about the barb-tipped knot lodged in my gut.
“Rose, you aren’t over here by yourself, right? It’s not safe to walk around unattended without an adult.”
Please say your grandmother is with you. Please say your grandmother…
“No, Uncle Asa is here. There he is!” She twists her torso and points behind her.
Damn.
I can’t not look up and in the direction she indicates. And my breath catches in my throat.
Asa stands several feet away, his hands jammed in the pockets of his jacket, his warm gaze settled on me, and it chases away the coolness of the October afternoon. I’m tempted to cross the parking lot, cuddle close to that wide chest and bask in that warmth. Let it burn away the sting of rejection, of hurt and insecurity.
But it’s because I want him to take the pain away that I stay exactly where I am.
I may be a fool, but so far it’s a closely kept secret. Letting him in on it doesn’t appeal to me.
“Are you coming over to our house again, India?” Rose tugs on my waist, and I jerk my attention away from her uncle and refocus on her. “It’s not movie night, but you can eat dinner with us and force Uncle Asa to watch a movie. He’ll do it if you’re there.”
Lord, this girl. Asa had better be careful or she would run him ragged.
“I’m standing right here, and I heard that.” That familiar deep voice rumbles through me, and I fight the urge to close my eyes again. To bask again. But I manage. “Now hurry up. Kayla’s mom is waiting to take you over her house for a playdate. I’ll pick you up about six.”
“Fine,” Rose mutters, loosening her arms from around my waist. She gives me a wave, a “Bye, India! See you at dinner!” even though I promised no such thing and rushes the few feet across the parking lot to jump into the backseat of an SUV.
Leaving me alone with Asa.
Not for long though.
I spin on my heel and head for my car.
“India.” I don’t stop. I can’t stop. “India, please.”