When I was done, I unplugged the steamer and returned it to its rightful place in the closet. I slipped on my dress and shoes, and spritzed myself with one of Abri’s assorted choices of flowery perfumes. I brought my wrist to my nose and inhaled. Apple, peach and tuberose filled my senses. It smelled beautiful and my lips quirked. I spritzed a little more behind my ears. I owed her big already, what was one more point?
I stood at the full-length mirror a little shocked at my own appearance. I hadn’t taken this much time getting myself ready in months and it was, needless to say, slightly disconcerting. I wasn’t sure if I liked what I saw in the mirror. My reflection looked a little too much like my old self and that made me uneasy.
I looked closer.
There are differences. My skin was tanner, my muscles even more toned, but the biggest difference was in my eyes. Before when I saw myself, they revealed nothing but hollow. They were empty. But now, now, they were full of life, full of understanding. Suddenly, I didn’t mind my own scrutiny. Suddenly, I saw a completely different person standing before me. Suddenly, I reflected love, hope and patience.
A knock on the door once again startled me. I grabbed my tiny pocketbook, checked my lip gloss one last time and swung it open to a breathtaking Ian.
“Jesus, Sophie Price,” he told me at once, raking his eyes from the top of my head to the tip of my toes and back again.
He entered the room and closed the door behind him. “I had no idea,” he told me, edging closer.
The toe of his shoes almost met mine and I wanted, no, needed him to swallow me whole. He was incredibly delectable, everything about him. I could feel his breath fan across my face as he examined me, could smell the spicy, clean scent of his soap, could practically count the hairs on his head. I searched his eyes and waited for it, waited for the declaration, but it never came. Say it, I silently begged.
I didn’t have time to be disappointed though because his hands found my bare shoulders instantly. They bit into my skin and pushed me a little away from him so he could soak up another look.
“Sophie Price, you are devastatingly beautiful.”
“Thank you. So are you,” I told him honestly.
He hadn’t heard me though. “I-I’m just-I knew you were beautiful, knew it so very well, but it’s like I just woke up to the idea. There’s something about you now, Soph. You exude something and I can’t quite place my finger on it. You practically glow with it. You devastate me,” he said, clutching at his heart.
I inched closer to him and rested my hand over his. “Thank you,” I told him.
“You’re welcome,” he said, smiling at me.
“No, you don’t understand, I’m not thanking you for the compliment, Ian. I’m thanking you for giving me the beauty you see.”
“I can’t take credit for that, Soph.”
I smiled at him and we stood quietly, our hands on one another as if we were both awakening to whatever it was that was surrounding us both then. It was written all over us. There was something practically tangible there, like a ray of sun, warming us through to our souls. You could see it, you could feel it, but you couldn’t quite capture it in your hands. That didn’t mean it wasn’t there though. Oh, it was there and it weighed a thousand delicious pounds.
I let that pressure inundate me, let it tether me to him.
Understanding. I was in love with Ian Aberdeen. So deeply, so incredibly. And it was true and it was sublime and it was mine.
Nothing could take that away from me and that was absolutely freeing to me. I owned that love. I chose it. I owed no one for it because it couldn’t have been purchased. It belonged to me free and clear. I had never felt more empowered.
Ian’s breathing deepened as he frantically searched my face. Say it. He had to have known. He had to have felt it as I did…but no words came.
A rap at the door came just as he’d begun to open his mouth and the moment died at our feet, never to resuscitate. It was gone and my heart tumbled beside it. I knew my expression was one of pain, of disappointment, because he furrowed his brows and slid his hands to my face, trying to force it to right. I was no longer going to mask myself. I was a different person from then on. Vulnerability was acceptable to me because it was real. He shook his head as another knock resounded.
He cleared his throat. “Co-Coming,” he spoke, still attempting to smooth my skin.
“We’ll be down at the cars,” Simon said and we heard his footsteps fade away.
Ian turned his head away from me and toward the door. “We can take my car, for privacy.”
I was hurt and no longer capable of hiding how I felt, so I turned toward the bathroom, feigning I needed something. “That’s fine,” an unfamiliar broken voice sounded from my lips.
I picked up the pocketbook I’d set down on the bed at some point and made my way toward the door.
“Soph,” Ian whispered, grabbing at my arm. I let him stop me, but I refused to face him.
“Yes, dear?” I said, trying to sound lighthearted.
“Don’t,” he begged.