I watched Ian’s hands as he gestured when he spoke and even they looked tired. Calluses on his palms and fingers screamed out they needed tending to but I knew him well enough he would ignore the plea. His own needs never came before Masego and that was unfortunate because Masego would always be needy.
I looked on him knowing I would be saying goodbye to him soon and that familiar hollowness began to creep within, making me feel cold and alone already. My gut twisted at the thought of how he’d react, how he’d interpret my leaving. I was determined though. I wouldn’t be responsible for his mother making his life miserable not when she so callously and easily made my current life a living hell.
When we reached the plane, I yelled at him to stay back with me. He obeyed without thinking much of it, hugging Pembrook goodbye. Charles, whom I’d tearfully said goodbye to earlier, waited for Pemmy below the hatch and they spoke to one another briefly before Pemmy boarded the plane.
“Ian,” I said softly, fighting tears.
He turned toward me, his concerned expression wounding my already wounded heart. Something in his eyes lit in understanding.
“I...”
“Don’t you dare, Soph,” he said. A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I swear to God, Sophie Price.”
“Ian,” I said, the unshed tears giving way.
He edged closer but I stepped back, unable to handle his touch without breaking down completely. He recognized this and grabbed me by the upper arms, bringing me close to him. “You owe me,” he gritted. “Why?”
“I- I’ve been given an opportunity to go home and I decided it was for the best.”
“Bullshit,” he said, shaking me a little in his frustration. “You’re lying. I know you and you’re lying.”
I avoided eye contact, focusing in on the tips of my worn boots. The same boots that worked tirelessly with me day after day caring for Masego. The same boots I wore while falling in love with him.
“Look at me, damn it!”
I raised my gaze toward him.
“Answer me,” he demanded. “Why?”
“I- I told you already. My answer won’t change. I think it’s for the best,” I lied.
He shook his head back and forth.“You can’t go,” he begged, hugging me to him like he could hold me there forever.
“Why?” I whispered in his ear.
“Because I’m in love with you.”
I clenched my lids and kissed his tanned cheek. “I love you, too,” I confessed...and walked away.
“Soph,” I heard behind me.
“Sophie,” he pleaded, softer.
“Soph,” he barely whispered.
But I didn’t answer. I just kept on walking, the tears cascading forth in a sea of excruciating pain.
“Sophie Price,” he yelled, agony and animosity lacing each word. I turned to face him. “You leave me like this, alone here, and I’ll never be able to forgive you. Don’t bother trying to come back. You get on that plane and I’m done with you!”
My breath hitched in my throat, warm tears spilling anew. I nodded, choking back another sob, and stealed myself. For him. For him. For him, I kept chanting. A large bellowing roar rumbled behind me, shattering my heart into a million pieces. I gulped back my own cry, placing one heavy foot in front of the other, refusing to turn back around. I knew if I saw him, took even a second to gaze on him, I’d forego all threats and ruin any future he may have had if he ever left Masego.
For him, I breathed internally, shutting the hatch behind me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
My cell phone buzzed and woke me.
Disoriented, I surveyed my surroundings. My room. In L.A. It was quiet and cold. Quiet, cold and empty. No sweet, baby voices woke me. I would never wake to the sight of Mandisa’s angelic face or the stalwart baobab tree, never eat the odd dinner with Charles or Karina again. My heart thudded harder in pain.