2
Sienna felt a stab of guilt at the fall of her mom’s features, though Mother tried to cover it up quickly. This wasn’t how Sienna wanted the birthday lunch to go down, and she added, to take the harshness out of her words, “I’ll really try, Mother. But this is a difficult time for me to get away. I’m sorry.”
She hated herself for apologizing. Her mother had apologized to her all her life and yet still held Sienna back. As a child, Sienna wasn’t allowed to go on a visit to the Exploratorium in San Francisco with her brother and father, or a fishing trip in the Sierras, or countless other outings because those excursions were for father-son bonding. When Sienna wanted her dad to come in for career day, her mom said he didn’t have the kind of career that would interest the other students. They wanted firefighters and policemen, not stockbrokers and hedge fund managers. When she wanted to go to the senior prom with an older boy, her mother told her it wasn’t appropriate, and he went with someone else. The worst, however, was that her mother always had her dad do the dirty work, making him say, “Your mother doesn’t think you should do that,” as if she’d swallow it more easily from Dad than from her mother.
But at thirty years old, she wouldn’t be bitter anymore. While she’d never felt close to her mother, she didn’t want to shut her down completely. She didn’t want to be angry or mean-spirited. It wasn’t good for her.
So she turned on the charm, just the way her father could. She’d learned that from him, watching his every move, wanting to be just like him so that he’d love her. “This is so sweet of you to take me out to lunch. That’s all I need. It’s really special. Thank you.”
Underneath, though, she wondered if it was Aunt Teresa’s doing. Her aunt had always been her confidant. She knew all about the trials and tribulations of Sienna’s relationship with her mother, and she’d been sworn to secrecy. But then she didn’t put it past Aunt Teresa to be the angel on her mother’s shoulder, telling her how to fix things, which was probably why her mother was offering the Santorini trip now. It was Aunt Teresa’s idea.
She went on brightly, changing the subject. “The party with Nonni and Poppa will be fabulous.”
“I can hardly wait,” her mother said.
“I really should try to get out to see them.” She gave a very Roman shrug, just like Poppa would. “But work is so busy right now. I’m hoping this new job will give me a little free time.” Instead of pushing more and more clients at her to the point where she felt like she couldn’t give any of them her full attention. “But I’m so glad they’ll be coming out.”
She’d wanted to invite all her family to the party last week, but Dad had said that Matthew refused to come if their mother was there. Instead of having to make explanations, she hadn’t invited any of them and planned for a summer party to make up for it.
She honestly didn’t understand Matthew’s antipathy. He wasn’t the one who’d always been told he couldn’t do this or that. Dad let him do whatever he wanted. He was the golden boy, a carbon copy of their father in height and build, short brown hair and hazel eyes like Dad’s. But when Matthew arrived that night, he’d acted like nothing was up. She’d have to get to the bottom of it eventually. During the party, however, wasn’t the right time.
She steered the conversation to her cousins. “Tell me about the girls, Aunt Teresa.”
They’d been much closer, treating her like an older sister, when Sienna had done all their babysitting. They’d talked about makeup and boys and that horrible teacher who was always embarrassing them. She had done her best to soothe their ragged edges.
“Sophia has decided she wants to go in for prelaw. And you know Charlotta, she absolutely loves that dance school. I think she can go all the way. At the end of the term, she’ll be doing tryouts for the New York City Ballet.”
“That’s fabulous,” Sienna’s mother said as if she didn’t know. Surely Aunt Teresa had told her.
“And Bianca landed the most amazing job at a CPA firm once she graduates in June.”
Sienna’s cousins were go-getters. Bianca wanted to be on the partner track for a huge firm. Whether it was accounting or law or consulting, she wanted in on the big action. “They all sound just as busy as me.”
Then Aunt Teresa mentioned the elephant in the room. “And how are the plans for your father’s wedding?” Aunt Teresa always liked everything on the table.
Sienna looked at her mother. Her face was pinched, her coffee-colored eyes suddenly darker. Sienna took after her mother in most ways, the same dark, curly hair, brown eyes, and olive complexion. The most she’d done to step out of her mother’s beautiful shadow was to dye her hair chestnut. And yet still she felt like an imitation of her mother and aunt.
Her parents had been divorced a year now. In Sienna’s opinion, her dad had screwed over her mother. Yes, she got the Los Altos house and a decent alimony settlement, but Dad was worth beaucoup bucks. He could have been more generous, especially since he was the one who’d left Mother.
His fiancée Bron, short for Brianna, had sworn up and down they weren’t having an affair before the divorce. She’d simply noticed how lonely he was, and she’d felt sorry for him. She was a highly paid executive assistant, and she wasn’t stupid enough to ruin everything by having an affair with the boss. Once he’d divorced, however, all bets were off.
Sienna liked Bron. They had a lot in common.
And there was the baby, of course.
Sienna walked the tightrope, not wanting to hurt her mother’s feelings, but not wanting to lie. And Mother knew about the baby. “It’s going well. Bron wants to get everything out of the way now, before she’s too far along.” Bron was eighteen weeks, the baby due at the beginning of August. The wedding would be late September, and she was making all the decisions now before she got what she called foggy baby brain. “She invited me to the food tasting on Friday.” Not wanting to hide anything, which would get way too complicated, she added, “She’s asked me to be a bridesmaid.”
Her mother’s pinched face didn’t change. Except for that blink. As if she was hoping it would conceal all the animosity in her eyes.
Aunt Teresa gasped loudly enough to turn heads. “You’re really on board with this, Sienna? She’s your age, twenty-five years younger than your father.”
Her aunt said everything her mother wasn’t. But Sienna didn’t want to get in a war with her father’s future wife, the mother of her half brother or sister. She wanted to be friends.
“Just think how that makes your mother feel.”
Just as a twinge of guilt unfurled in Sienna’s stomach, her mom jumped in. “I’m fine. I don’t bear your father any ill well. He has the right to marry whomever he wishes and to start a new family.” Uncharacteristically, she put her hand over Sienna’s. “I’m glad you want to be friends with his new wife. Just because we’re divorced doesn’t mean you have to choose sides.”
For some strange reason, her mother’s words made her eyes prickle, and she said softly, “Thank you. I’d like my relationship with her to work. I want to be able to see the baby.”