Her orgasm shimmered through her like ripples on the surface of a lake. Lucas stopped and leaned forward, forcing his weight on her, pressing her face harder into the floor.
“Oh no you don’t,” he said harshly. “We have several things to clear up, Ren. If you come, I’ll bruise that pretty ass of yours so you can’t sit for a week. ”
She groaned, knowing full well he’d do just that. She wanted to come. Needed to come, but having a sore ass for a week wasn’t worth the immediate pleasure. She shut off the images of Cole that were bombarding her and focused instead on the sensation of Lucas uncomfortably wedged inside her pussy. The angle of his penetration was meant to be painful and not bring her pleasure.
Only when she had backed off the edge did he ease his hold and lean back to alleviate the pressure on her body. The burn inside her pussy eased and he stroked back and forth a few times until she was damp once more around him.
Without warning, he reached down and lifted her straight up, still buried deep inside her. He pulled her back, leaning so that she sat astride him, completely vulnerable, impaled on his rigid length.
And just as suddenly as he’d lifted her, he pushed her forward again until his cock came free and she stumbled off the seat.
“Lie down on your back,” he directed. “And give me your legs. ”
She eased down onto the floor again and then inched herself toward him until he grasped her ankles. He jerked her forward, the carpet rough against her back. Then he pushed her legs back, curling her so that her weight was borne on her shoulders and her ass was presented to him.
He bent her legs double, which opened her even further to him. Then he gave her a satisfied smile.
“It seems to me if we’re going to have a meaningful conversation, I at least want to be able to look at your face. My dick in your ass shouldn’t provide distraction to a woman of your discipline. ”
CHAPTER 12
Ren trembled in anticipation, her gaze focused solely on Lucas. She stared into his dark eyes as he rose over her and tucked his cock between her ass cheeks.
She was feeling vulnerable tonight. A little off kilter. It was a sensation she didn’t like. As much as she loved all of Lucas’s dark edges and embraced his willingness to push her as hard and as fast past that gray line of her limits, she was suddenly very unsure of herself.
Never had she felt so unsteady and so out of sorts. Instead of his ruthless dominance and possession, she wanted—no, she needed—his tenderness, a side, that while rarely shown or given, was as powerful, if not more so than his harder side.
Lucas froze, staring back at her, his eyes searching to her very depths. Slowly he unfolded her legs and pulled her gently toward him so her legs rested on either side of his hips. Then he simply reached forward, slid his hands underneath her shoulders and pulled her upward so she sat in his lap facing him.
Bewildered, she could only look on helplessly and wait for what was next. Had he seen what she’d tried so hard to keep from him? Had he plucked the thoughts right out of her head?
His palms glided up and down her back and she realized then he was indeed soothing her. Unexpected tears pricked her eyelids and then he enfolded her in his arms and held her close.
He didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to. He saw into her very heart. Every time. He always knew when he could push and when he couldn’t. He’d seen it now and instead of punishing her for being out of sorts, he offered her the strength and comfort she so desperately craved.
“Why are you so upset, my Ren?” he asked several long minutes later.
She clung to him, her face buried in his neck. He pried her away from him and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumb.
She hated that she was so weak in front of him. That she’d cried all over him. She never cried. She was always so careful to only show him her strength and quiet determination. He’d seen her not at her best, but he’d never seen her so …distraught.
“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “I do and I don’t. I’m so confused. I don’t know what I want. ”
“That isn’t like you. You’re the most confident, self-assured woman I’ve ever known. You’re comfortable in your skin. You always know precisely what you want and you’ve never been bashful about pursuing it. I’ve always admired that about you. ”
She laid her head back on his shoulder and wrapped her hand around the side of his neck, clutching at him, needing that contact. “You asked me what was different in our relationship or rather how our relationship differed from the others I’ve had. This, Lucas. This is what’s different. ”
He stroked his hand through her hair. He pressed his lips to her forehead in the most gentle of kisses and then said, “Explain. ”
“You get me. Really get me. It’s not all about you as a lot of people would assume a relationship where dominance is a factor would be about your needs and wants above all else. ”
“Your happiness is important to me,” he said by way of agreement.
She sighed. “In all my other relationships, except one, it’s been more about the man. Not always or all the time but mostly. In all but one, my partner never had my complete trust. In all but one, I was never …home. You’re home to me, Lucas. I feel safe and cherished with you. I trust you. ”
He seemed pleased by her heartfelt declaration. He squeezed her warmly and she could feel the pleasure seeping through him. That made her happy. She wanted him to know how much he meant to her. How much his protection meant to her.
“You said except one. Do you mean Cole?”
She took in a deep breath. “Yes. I was happy with Cole. My relationship with him mimicked a lot of the things I value most about my relationship with you. Only ours is a more grown-up version of what I had with him. I like to think if only Cole and I had had time that we could have grown into something like what you and I have now. ”
“And yet the idea of me giving you to him distresses you,” Lucas murmured.
“I’m scared,” she admitted. “And confused. Maybe a little threatened, you know?”
He brushed his mouth over her temple, a simple gesture she felt all the way to her soul.
“Why, Lucas? Why are you doing it? I don’t understand. I’m afraid to dig too deeply for the answer. ”
Before she hadn’t been willing to ask, but now she had to know. Was it a test? She wasn’t sure she could do this. He hadn’t done it to hurt her. She’d never believe Lucas would be that cruel. Which meant he had a specific reason for sending her back into the arms of the man who’d broken her heart.
He pulled her back just enough that he could touch her jaw, cup her chin, rub his thumb gently across her lips. So comforting. So very real.
“You say you trust me. ”
She nodded without hesitation.
“Then trust me that this is what I feel is best for you. I think this is something you need. I would not do it if I thought it would hurt you. It may make you uncomfortable, but I think when all is said and done, this is for the best. ”
The calm in his voice soothed her frayed nerves. She did trust him. Implicitly. He’d never steered her wrong. He’d never done anything without her best interests at heart.
And the truth was that she did want to see Cole again. She’d imagined what it would be like to have him touch her as he’d once done. Wondered if he’d even want to. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since the night she and Lucas had gone to The House.
What had rattled her far more than her encounter with her first love was the guilt she’d felt for thinking of him ever since. Lucas was everything to her and yet she couldn’t stop thinking about a man who shouldn’t occupy her thoughts or her fantasies.
The fact that Lucas seemed to understand only made the guilt burn more brightly. That he’d gone as far as to make an arrangement with Cole because he thought it was something she needed made her want to curl into a ball of shame.
“Ren. ”
Cole was focused solely on her, his gaze locked. As her hand slid into Lucas’s she prayed she wouldn’t betray her nervousness by shaking.
No matter what Lucas had arranged, she was here as Lucas’s possession and she would not bring shame to him by acting anything but calm and measured. Everything she did reflected on Lucas. She represented him in all things.
She stood gracefully as Lucas pulled her the remaining way out. The door closed behind her and she dimly heard Lucas give his driver instructions.
She ate Cole up with her gaze. He leaned against one of the columns decorating his front porch, hands in the pockets of his slacks. The pose was deceptively relaxed because she could see the tension in his eyes. She could feel it.
Dear God, this was real. She was walking up the sidewalk to Cole Madison’s front door. She was here to belong to him for the evening. Maybe even the night. She had no idea of Lucas’s plans. Only that she was to give herself unreservedly.