Amanda is giving me a serious case of blue balls.
I made her come and now she’s freaking out. Once I set her on her unsteady feet, she tugged her skirt down, smoothed a hand over her hair and then mumbled, “I have to use the bathroom.” She dashed into my master bathroom and has secluded herself in there for the last five minutes.
I’m sitting on the foot of my bed, running my hands continuously through my hair, tugging on it extra tight until it hurts. Maybe if I focus on the pain, my insistent dick will settle down.
Yeah. Not happening.
She’s the sexiest thing alive. Seriously, no woman has ever done it for me like Amanda. Having her in my arms only a few minutes ago, our mouths fused as she rubbed her wet pussy all over the front of my jeans, Jesus.
Need to stop thinking like that. Remembering the moment is doing me no favors. As in, my dick is still hard.
The bathroom door slowly swings open and she walks out, looking uneasy. The shoes are off. They’re dangling from her fingers and she drops them on the floor with a plop, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as she contemplates me.
I say nothing. Just lean back with my hands braced on the mattress behind me, kicking my legs out. She’s still studying me, her gaze doing a leisurely stroll from my head to my feet until she finally says,
“I think maybe we’re—moving too fast.”
Well, shit. So that’s what it takes to deflate my dick.
“Man—” I start to say, but she cuts me off.
“No, let me finish.” She takes a deep breath and exhales loudly, waving her hands in front of her face like she’s trying to cool down. Or stop the tears from coming, I’m not quite sure. “Being with you tonight has been amazing, but I’m scared.”
She’s quiet for a moment, so I go ahead and ask the question. “Scared of what?”
“Of you. Of this not working,” she admits quietly. She takes a step forward, the scent of her perfume wafting toward me, and all I can think is so close.
I was so damn close to having her naked and my cock buried deep inside her. Yet somehow, I messed it all up.
“Do you want this to work?” I ask. My chest goes tight. This is one of those hard truth moments, and I’m worried she’ll say something I don’t want to hear.
Amanda ducks her head, her long dark hair spilling over her shoulder, and gives a little shrug. “Do you?”
“I asked you first.”
She bursts out laughing, shaking her head. “We sound like little kids.”
“Right now, we’re acting like little kids.” I stand and go to her, close enough to touch her, but I don’t. Not yet. “What do you want, Mandy?”
“I don’t know.” She keeps her head bent and I give in, slipping my fingers beneath her chin, tilting her face up so her gaze meets mine. Her eyes are shining with unshed tears and seeing them cracks my steel-plated heart. Damn, this girl wrecks me. She always has. “I want to, but…”
“But what.” I touch her cheek. Trace her jaw. Her skin is still flushed from her orgasm and she’s so warm. So beautiful.
“I don’t want to get hurt,” she whispers, closing her eyes and leaning into my palm. “And if we do this, I’m afraid you’ll hurt me again, Jordan. I can’t help it.”
It’s my turn to take a deep breath. I’m stalling, trying to figure out exactly what I want to say. How much I want to reassure her that if she just gave us a chance, we’d probably work. I’m not over her. Clearly, she’s not over me. So why not give it another try?
“I can guarantee you’ll hurt me again too,” I admit. “If you put a stop to this right now, you’ll hurt me. But if you don’t take a chance, then you’ll never know.”
Her eyes pop open and she’s frowning at me. “Never know what?”
“Just how great we could be.” I skim my thumb across her lush mouth, tempted to kiss her again. “Once upon a time, we were pretty damn great, you know.”
Until she dumped my ass with no real explanation. Didn’t offer me a chance to correct my wrongs or whatever. It was just a simple it’s over. And I wasn’t allowed to try and change her mind.
So why am I willing to put my heart on the line once again? She’ll destroy it. She’s good at that—she has lots of experience.
Yet seeing her like this, touches something deep within me. Her expression is…raw. Vulnerable. Her lips tremble and the tears start to spill, one sliding down her cheek. Then another.