“I wasn’t speed dating. I was evaluating the environment for optimization opportunities—” Ethan started hefting down boxes for Leah to sort.
“—then you get into a street brawl—”
“A street brawl?” Ethan whipped around to face her. “What am I, an extra inWest Side Story?”
“West Side Story?! Wow, you are such a nerd.”
Ethan shoved a box into her arms. “Let’s start with three piles. Keep, donate, and trash.”
“Sure thing, Marie Kondo,” Leah said, setting down the box and pulling out masking tape and a Sharpie from her backpack.
Despite her abundance of sass, Leah worked harder than almost anyone he knew, and she always came prepared.
It only took five boxes and one giant spider sighting for Ethan to break.
“I did something dumb.”
Leah looked up from her position, cross-legged on the ground surrounded by dusty mahzors.
“Shocking.”
Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose without thinking, yelping as he aggravated the tender skin around his eye. “I did something because I thought it would make one thing better, but actually it made everything worse.”
“Sorry. No information was disclosed in that sentence.” Leah tilted her head as she ripped a new piece of tape. “Does this confession have something to do with you getting your ass kicked?”
He reached for his coffee cup only to find it empty. This day felt a thousand years long, and it wasn’t even ten yet.
“If I tell you something, do you promise not to be a jerk about it?”
“How very dare you.” Leah put a hand to her heart. “I have never been a jerk in my entire life.”
At Ethan’s eye roll, she relented.
“All right, yes, I promise. Sheesh. So delicate.”
“I think I almost kissed someone.”
Leah stared at him expectantly.
“Still relying on a lot of qualifiers and ambiguity.” She waved for him to continue.
He sighed. “I think I almost kissed Naomi Grant.”
“No way.” Leah’s shout reverberated across Ethan’s aching eye socket.
“Why is that so hard to believe?”
“Because she’s a five-foot-ten goddess and you’re... you,” Leah said slowly, as if this were very obvious.
“What happened to you not being a jerk?”
“I forgot.” She picked up another High Holidays prayer book to label. “Look, I’m both listening and helping. A model sister, I’d say. Tell me about your almost-kiss.”
He really needed to find other people to talk to about his romantic misadventures. But at the moment, Leah was his best and only option. If anyone not compelled to secrecy by blood found out about his interest in Naomi, the already rampant rumor mill would get completely out of hand.
Slumping down to join her on the floor, Ethan wiped his hands on his jeans.
“I think we almost kissed. I was kinda drunk, and I could only see out of one eye at the time, but I’m pretty sure.”