“Here’s what you need to remember out of everything I’ve said. I want to. God, do I want to, Olivia. But this is one thing you can’t push me on, okay? I want to feel ready. I want to feel like I’m at a place where if I ever did lose you, I’d be able to bring myself back from hell without you there to help me. You said I wouldn’t, but anything’s possible, and I need to be able to handle it. Because if I were to lose you, with where I am today, that’s definitely going to happen.
“I need to be in control of this as much as humanly possible first. I need you to wait for me to get there. Okay?” She nods. “So unless you don’t want things to stay as is, unless you want things to be simpler, then that’s our plan.” Olivia nods again, not yet speaking. “And I’ll get there,” I promise in a low voice. “I want you too much not to try like hell to make it happen.”
Her response is a kiss. As her hand travels down my chest and over my stomach, my muscles tighten in response. Today, I want nothing more than to kiss her for the rest of the night, but I need her to say something too. Olivia pulls back slightly, her mouth close enough to mine that our breaths intermingle.
“I’ll need more time to process all of it, but we’re on the same page, Corey.” Relief overwhelms me as I realize that’s what I was waiting to hear her confirm. “You know, I never got to thank you,” she adds.
I hate being thanked. Olivia usually thanks me for the simplest things. Things that she should receive anyway. Does she always thank people for the smallest actions? Or does she only thank me because she knows that doing these things don’t always come as naturally for me as for other people? She usually deserves whatever she’s thanking me for, but I still wish she wouldn’t. It bothers me more than it should, I guess.
“For what?”
“My early Valentine’s Day presents.”
Oh. “Well, you’re welcome.”
“I haven’t thanked you yet,” she says with a grin. Olivia moves to straddle me before kissing me again. I’m tempted to move her back to her own seat because if she keeps right on, my resolve is going to disappear. Her moan hums into my mouth, shutting down my thoughts to allow my emotions to run rampant. My hands move away from hips, up her tors
o. “Why don’t you,” Olivia mumbles between a small break for air, “take us,” she shifts purposely in my lap, “to your room?” she finishes.
Moving my hands down to cup her ass, I stand and her legs wrap around me as I take us to my room, that sweet mouth of hers kissing my neck. Everything I said might as well have flown out the window. As I lay her on the bed and lift her shirt up and over her head, we begin a run on the road of no return. Olivia is the only thing that exists in my world tonight. She’s the only thought I’m able to think.
Our fate is sealed as she brings my mouth back to hers, tugging on my shirt. Tonight, Olivia becomes mine just as much as I become hers. We’re in a relationship, regardless of whether or not we label it as such. Hopefully, we’re both strong enough to deal with the consequences.
IF IT’S POSSIBLE for me to have a happy place, it’s at work. Hard to believe, right? That I could have a happy place? I do, though. Working with my hands, doing heavy lifting, and using power tools clears my head and leaves me with a sense of accomplishment. At the end of every day, I can look around and see progress.
It’s an amazing feeling for me. My world might stop turning, but I can still find progress somewhere inside it. When it seems like I have nothing to look forward to, I think about coming to work the next day and my spirits lift a tad. Faintly, I wonder if my dad would be proud of me. He would have to be, right? I’m not following his dream for me since I can’t, but it has to count for something that I’m doing the same work he did.
I’ve been thinking of my dad a lot today. Maybe it’s because I walked out of my bedroom to find that at some point before I woke up, Olivia came over and placed the football back on my end table. It reminded me of her stupid future-kids comment and how my dad would play with me. By how my chest tightened and my jumping at the sight of it, you would have thought I walked out to find a dead person in my apartment. Honestly, I’m surprised I didn’t scream too. She’s definitely going to pay for that.
“Lunch break, boys,” Hank announces. We all find a stopping point and start going our own ways. “Corey.”
I turn at the sound of my name. Uh-oh. “Yes, sir?”
Hank walks over to me. “If you don’t have major lunch plans, I thought you could join me.”
“Um, yeah, sure.” I can’t tell my boss no. Why does he want me to have lunch with him? It’s all I can think about as we get in his truck and head to a nearby restaurant. Once we’re seated and have ordered, my heart is about to burst from anxiety.
“I’ve been watching you, and Nate’s been giving me updates as well. One reason why I wanted to take you out to lunch.” He pauses, and I take note that there’s more than one reason. “You’ve been doing good, and I wanted to let you know that.”
“Thanks. I really like it.”
Hank nods. “You learn quickly. I’m pretty sure you were made for this job.” Something, an emotion I can’t quite name, swirls inside me. “I’m glad you like it. If you ever need help, need to discuss something, or whatnot, you can always come to Nate or me.”
I’ve been racking my brain all morning, too, on how to bring up my doctor appointments. I go back to see Dr. Stewart this week and I need some time off, but I don’t know how to bring it up without saying what it’s for. Clearing my throat, I figure now is the time to get it over with.
“There is one thing.” Hank doesn’t say a word, just waits for me to continue. “I, uh, have some doctor appointments coming up and need time off to go.”
“Nothing serious going on, is there?”
“No, sir, but they’re on a regular basis and I won’t know until I go in when the next one is.”
His eyes study me, possibly trying to figure out what kind of appointments I’m going to. He’s silent for a solid minute. “How long do they usually last? When is your next one?”
“About an hour or so, and on Thursday in the afternoon.”
“That won’t be a problem. Here’s what we’ll do. After this one, schedule them either first thing in the morning or last one in the afternoon and come in an hour early or stay an hour late. That way you’ll still get your hours in and keep learning. Let me know which one, and I’ll be sure to be there for the extra hour with you. Will that work?”
“Yes, thanks for working with me.”