She might as well have won because we stay at her place instead of mine.
“THANKS FOR COMING back. I’m sincerely sorry about last time,” Dr. Stewart starts.
“Good.” I shift in my seat, wishing it was more comfortable.
“How have things been?”
“Good for the most part.” I pause and then add, “I go see the therapist tomorrow.”
Dr. Stewart looks surprised, but he quickly recovers. “That’s great. I know she will be very helpful.”
“I didn’t tell Olivia.” That’s been nagging me even though I haven’t changed my mind about telling her.
“So you decided on your own to make the appointment? Why wouldn’t you tell her?”
“Yeah, I did,” I snap. Is it really hard to believe I could do something on my own without Olivia pushing me? “And I don’t know. Too soon, I think.” This was a bad idea to talk about, so I change the subject. “I’ve felt better. I guess that means things are improving. There’s been bad days, of course, but I haven’t missed a day of work yet.”
“That’s great. We’ll keep things the same with your medication then. It should get even better once you start seeing your therapist. However, I would like to see you in two weeks still. Does that sound good?”
“Yeah.”
He nods and jots some things down on his paper.
Clearing my throat, I go on a limb and ask him, “How am I supposed to tell my family?”
Dr. Stewart stops writing. He sets his pen down and lifts his head. “Do you want to tell them?”
“Eventually, I have to. My siblings, the only family I have besides my grandparents, surprised me with a visit recently. They know something isn’t right, but we’re not a talking family, which is my fault. They learned from my bad habits growing up. They want to know, but they won’t get it, and I can’t manage to say it to them because I don’t want to burden them with it. I was just wondering.”
He seems to think about it first. “How did you tell Olivia?”
“I didn’t. She could tell because of past experiences.” Which I’m still in the dark about.
“Corey, it sounds like they love and care for you. They don’t have to get it and you don’t have to tell them all the details. As long as you have some sort of a support system, someone you can talk to who will get it, you don’t have to talk to anyone else about it. If you want to tell your family, then get them together, sit down, and give them the basics, or as much as you’re willing to say. Tell them that you’re seeing people and working on it. That’s all, unless you want to say more.”
I nod. He’s right. They wouldn’t have to know everything, but enough to inform them of what’s going on is good too.
“Anything else?” he prods.
“No, that’s it.” It’s still going to be a while before I say anything to them. At least, now I know how I could do it.
VOMIT TEASES THE back of my throat, threatening to spew out all over the carpet in front of me. My legs are panicking with their jostling. Two doctor appointments in two days is fucking stressful. Maybe I should have told Olivia, so she could come hold my hand. I’m about to bolt and ditch the appointment when my name is called after I’ve filled out a shit-ton of paperwork complete with a questionnaire half full of stupid questions. The therapist, Ms. Cynthia, is older than I expected. She’s probably in her early sixties wi
th hair so white and thin, I can see her scalp.
She leads me into the back and into a small office. Fuck. She has the same stiff chairs as Dr. Stewart. I wish she was young and a man like him. Then if I lose my temper, I wouldn’t feel bad about going off on her. I guess I’m getting ahead of myself, though.
“I’ve gone over some notes Dr. Stewart has sent me. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but we’ll be communicating with one another. This way we’ll both have a fuller picture on what’s going on so we can help you better.”
I nod as she peers at me from over the rim of her glasses, sitting low on her nose.
“He told me that jumping in might be the best way to start with you, instead of going slow and easing in. What do you think?”
“I don’t know. Everyone pushes, so I guess it works.”
She places her folder on her desk and gives me her full attention. “Tell me about yourself and what’s been going on.”
Seriously? “Isn’t that in the notes from Dr. Stewart?”