Chapter Six
Nicole
Fog and Rain
I strolled around the store for thirty minutes, gathering the items I needed for the week's grocery list. With money as tight as it had been, I only had sixty-five dollars and still had to make sure I brought home things Desi wouldn’t complain about or that would lead to an argument. Though he was a priority when it came to… well, everything, he never was clear on what he wanted from the store. I never knew what I’d add to the cart that might trigger him when I returned home.
I carefully chose what Desi liked to eat—a few packs of sandwich meat, bread, cheese, chicken, and a six-pack of beer. I added one bag of apples and a pack of spinach for myself, but only after I was sure I had enough to feed Desi. I picked up a few other needed household items. Then, I headed to the ice cream aisle to get a tub of chocolate ice cream. I realized then that an important piece to this week’s shopping trip was missing.
Where is Vito?
He would have come up to me if he were here, but he was nowhere in sight. Disappointment settled in my spirit when I realized I wasn’t going to get to see him. I wore my hair piled on the top of my head in a mess of curls. I got up early this morning and curled my hair before Desi woke up so he wouldn’t question why I was taking so long in the bathroom. I did it so that Vito could see these damn curls.
Not seeing him today meant I’d be stuck in the house without anything positive happening to me this week. When it came to my happiness, it had always been ‘easy come, easy go.’ So, I pushed ahead.
I pulled my exterior together, which thankfully wasn’t battered and bruised since Desi hadn’t struck me in a few weeks. However, on the inside, I was shattering. Something like the guy I met at the grocery store not showing up one week should be a small thing, but when it was all I had to hope for, it hit hard.
Vito probably had gotten tired of my ‘I got a boyfriend’ act and moved on. That thought unsettled me in the worst way. I had to get out of there. I had to go home and deal with my monster. I had spent too much time strolling around the store, waiting for the sun to shine on me. Well, there was no Vito, so there would be no sun.
I tossed a carton of chocolate ice cream into the cart and started pushing the buggy toward the register. I wasn’t focused on anyone or anything around me when I heard someone call my name.
“Hi, Nicole. Are you looking for someone?” Desi’s sister, Sheila, walked toward me with a taunting smirk. She looked so much like her brother that it was triggering to see her.
“Looking for someone? What? No, I’m just headed to check out.”
“I noticed you going through the aisles, looking around as if you’re waiting for someone. I’ve been watching you since you left the bread aisle. What’s wrong with you? Is Desi meeting you here or something?”
She had been watching me. Their whole damn family was nuts, including his mama, who treated Desi like a toddler.
If “good looks and good D can ruin your life if you don’t do your research first” was a person, it would be Desi. I should have researched him and everyone in his family for clues that defying everything my parents taught me and moving in with him would be a terrible idea.
“Your brother doesn’t shop for groceries. He’s at home, waiting for me to come back and cook. So, I’d better get going.” I started pushing my buggy past her.
She touched my arm to stop me. “Be careful out there, Nicole.”
For a glimmer of a second, I saw compassion in her eyes. Maybe she didn’t agree with Desi putting his hands on me. It wasn’t like it was a secret to his family. They knew he was violent and hit his women, and Sheila had seen my bruises and pretended not to see them.
I didn’t reply to her warning to be careful. There was nothing careful about living with Desi Jakes. I pushed my buggy toward the register. I checked out and went to my car. I didn’t look around for Vito. I had pushed him away. I had to be strong now to survive another day under Desi’s roof. I had nothing left but the chaos Desi had to offer.
Seeing Sheila reminded me of the type of fire I was playing with. I couldn’t return to this store at lunchtime again, anticipating running into Vito. I would come at another time and just suck it up that my only ray of sunshine had gone back inside the clouds and left me with nothing but fog and rain.