“Mr. Police Officer, shouldn’t you be out there saving the world?” I asked when I closed the trunk.
He sighed. “You’re a tough cookie. You’re going to be sweet when I finally get a bite out of you.”
I laughed and slid into the driver’s seat. “Be careful. This cookie is fresh out of the oven. You don’t want to get burned.”
“Burn me, baby. I can take it.”
I blew him a kiss just to mess with him, not feeling the slightest bit of remorse at leading him on. There never could be a relationship between us. I couldn’t wait to see Shaw lose his shit when Nathan came to the door. But what if he didn’t? What if he no longer cared?
No, I refused to believe that. On my way home, I picked up some scented candles and bath salts. I would remind Daddy why he should be with me. That I was the same Ari he always took care of, and none of that changed because we hid one body together.
If anything, it should bring us closer. We shared a secret no one else could ever know about. We had something that belonged to just us. Couldn’t he see the beauty in that? I hadn’t asked him. He’d volunteered to drive me and helped me dig the grave and push that corpse into the hole. He’d done it all by himself, so why did he act like I’d been the one to persuade him?
I spent the evening cleaning because I liked taking care of Shaw’s house. I liked him entering with a smile in the evening. That the haggard look after a rough day at school changed the moment he smelled whatever I had cooking or the scent of pine from the cleaning supplies. And when he smiled at me, I felt like his whole world.
I wanted to be his whole world.
Just like the past few days, I expected Shaw to show up home late, which was the reason I’d given Nathan that time. I just hoped he didn’t stay later than usual.
With the tracking app on his phone I’d installed and hidden in a secret folder, I knew the exact moment he left work. I put away the materials I was using for sewing a new project and turned the oven on a low setting to warm up the food. Right on time, his car pulled up in the driveway. I wore my favorite dress and took extra care with my hair.
“Hey, Daddy,” I greeted him as I opened the door before he could.
“Hey, sorry I’m late. Work stuff.” He walked past me, not even noticing the extra mile I’d gone getting dressed up for him. Had I lost his interest for good?
“That’s okay. I made you dinner.” I forced a smile, ready to give tonight my all. If that didn’t work, I would go to phase two.
“I’m not hungry.” He loosened his tie and headed for the stairs. “I ordered something while I was working.”
“But I prepared duck,” I protested. “I spent all evening cooking for you.”
He turned at the foot of the stairs and looked at me then. His gaze scanned me from my hair to my feet, and when his eyes met mine, they were blazing. I instantly felt better.
“New dress?” he asked.
I spun in a circle, my skirt swishing against my legs. “Yes, you like?”
“You always look stunning,” he said. He shook his head, as if realizing what he said, and climbed the stairs.
“I ran you a warm bath,” I called after him. “I knew you’d be tired after work, so I hope it helps you relax.”
“Thanks, Ari. You didn’t have to.”
“I know. I just want to make you happy, Daddy. To be the best boy I can be.”
I needed him to remember that instead of how I’d taken someone’s life. He didn’t respond, and the door slammed shut. The back of my eyes burned, but I held it together until I was in the kitchen. I opened the oven, took out the roast spiced duck with plums I’d prepared for us, and dropped the dish onto the counter. I grabbed the thick butcher knife and went to town, hacking it to pieces, tears stinging my eyes. I was losing him.
Footsteps padded behind me, and I turned, holding the knife in front of me. Shaw stared at the massacred duck on the table, then at the knife in my hand. As calmly as I could, I set down the knife on the counter and gave him my best smile.
“Did you forget something?”
“Thank you,” he said softly. “For the bath. Everything looks great.”
I could have cried with relief for him acknowledging the lengths I’d gone for him. I loved him so much it hurt, and all I wanted was for him to love me back. Even half as much. I’d take that.
“I love taking care of you. Did you want something else? I can scrub your back for you.”
“I, uh, I think I can manage.” His eyes dropped to the knife on the table. Dear god, he’d seen my little meltdown and was now wary of me. Did he think I would hurt him? How could he even think that? I’d done everything for him and to get back to him.