His heart sank.Did she disconnect the call?The longer the silence continued, the tighter his stomach grew. Finally she spoke, her voice low. “What would make you happy, Carter?”
Okay, this wasnothis mom. This was some alien who’d taken her over.
Would you just listen to yourself?He cleared his throat. “I’m not sure yet. I was thinking maybe I’d…” He hesitated, afraid to say the words, in case this present, more relaxed, more reasonable mom turned out to be just a blip.
Say it. Be honest with her.
“Maybe I’d open a store or something.” The words tumbled out in a rush. “I want to be happy, that’s all. I don’t need to make a lot of money, just enough to have a comfortable life for me and—” He thought of Beez and Alcy in the other room. “Whoever I end up with.”
There was that silence again, and he knew he’d been wrong to hope, wrong to trust in this new mom, wrong to—
“Your father and I want you to be happy.” She spoke slowly, as if it was tough for her to get the words out. “I know we’ve put a lot of pressure on you, but we’ve come to realize that it isn’t our life to live, it’s yours.” She chuckled. “That doesn’t mean we don’t want you to get married and have kids, of course.”
Yeah, his mom was still in there somewhere. So much for alien possession. “So… if I drop computers, you and Dad won’t be angry with me?”
“What? Oh, honey, no. We push you because we want what’s best for you. And until recently, we were certain we knew what that was, and you just needed to see it. But now? We’re discovering things might not be as cut and dried as we’d thought. We need some time to think about these things. So, would you be okay if we kept to phone calls for a while?” She sounded almost apologetic.
Oh God. Cold trickled through him. “You’re not getting a divorce, are you?” Surely not. He’d always believed they were happy, and he wanted to be as much in love as they were.Or at least as much as I thought they were.
“What? No! Definitely not. I love your father, and nothing will ever change that, okay? Neither of us has any plans to divorce. We might not be in the honeymoon phase anymore, but we’re still committed to each other, and we always will be.”
Carter shuddered out a breath. “I’m glad to hear it.” Then he thought maybe this was the perfect opportunity to tell her he was gay, but quickly stamped hard on that idea.One huge change at a time, right?“Listen, mom… If you needed something from me, you’d call, right?”
“Of course. Honey, we will always be here for you. You’re our pride and joy.”
Those words lifted Carter’s heart a little. Maybe coming out to them wouldn’t be the ordeal he’d been expecting for so long. Despite the pastor’s fire and brimstone approach, was it truly possible his folks could be reasoned with?
It was something he’d have to consider.
“I’m sorry, Carter, but we have to go. Talk with you soon, okay?”
“Sure, Mom. Love you.”
“We love you too.” And then she was gone.
Carter smiled. Life sure was weird. He’d spent years fretting over things, and now, within a short space of time—and thanks to a couple of hosts—his life was turning itself around. Mr. McAffrey was right. Carter had to make them comfortable, because he was coming to realize his life wouldn’t be the same if Alcy and Beez weren’t part of it.
Alcy couldn’t move. Or, more accurately, he didn’t dare move. When he’d woken, he noticed a strange pressure on his arm. He glanced over and found Beez cuddled up next to him, his fingers gripping Alcy’s forearm. His expression of contentment spoke of a man—well, host—with no worries. For the first time since he’d known Beez, Alcy took the time to actually look at him.
Is he happy?
Then he reasoned it was a stupid question. Why wouldn’t he be? He was in his element, after all. Sex with all kinds of people, drinking, smoking… The only responsibility he had was to himself.
A burning sensation lodged itself in Alcy’s chest. Pain ricocheted through his jaw, his teeth were clenched so tightly. His stomach was like a rock.
Whoa. What is going on here?
He forced himself to breathe, letting his usual calm flood his being, until he could look at his physical reactions with a clear mind. And then it hit him.
He was jealous.
Of Beez? But why? Beez didn’t have the monopoly on sex, did he? And if the grass looked greener over there…It’s not like I couldn’t switch sides, right? If I wanted to?
Except Alcy knew, deep down, he was made to be an angel and he was good at it. Helovedhelping people, showing them the joy that could be found in pursuits of the mind and spirit, and not just the body. In fact, his favorite thing was watching realization dawn on someone’s face, that moment when they actually got it. The same realization he’d seen on Carter’s when they were studying for his computer test. His eyes had lit up, and a smile took up residence where only a few hours ago there had been a perpetual frown.
“I get it,” he’d whispered.
Those were the precious moments Alcy lived for.