They are definitely talking about me. My cheeks burn like I’ve been out in the sun all day. And while it was light in Under, I never saw the sun, yet there must be one. There has to be something, doesn’t there? Or does this place exist without the usual rules?
Or maybe these rules are normal, and my world is the weird one.
I shove the last weed into my mouth and chew as Tail glides over. The change doesn’t seem to bother him. Which set of eyes should I look at? I don’t want to be rude in case he decides not to help Horn and turns me into dinner instead.
“Do you really think you can hold onto who you are, no matter what?”
I nod and hope that I am right, that I am strong enough to not crumble.
Tail lifts his hand and I think it’s to take my plate, instead his palm connects with my cheek in a sharp slap. I drop the plate and cup my cheek. Tears form in my eyes, but before I can recover, his tail wraps around me and squeezes like he wants to crush my ribs and kill me.
“Help me.” My voice is little more than a squeak.
But Horn doesn’t move. He just watches.
Was this all a trick? He got what he wanted, and now he gets dinner too.
My lungs burn, screaming for air. Darkness clouds the edges of my vision. I want to struggle and scratch at his scales, but I can’t. If I do, I will have failed.
And if I give into the tempting darkness, will I ever wake up?
As darkness claims me, the last thing I see is four amber eyes.
10
Tail
“That was unnecessary,” the monster Julie christened Horn says.
Now he has a name, it’s easy to think of him that way. I don’t know how I thought of him before. He was the one who helped me when I was sure I was about to die. I’m pretty sure I had legs back then. Though I can’t remember what it felt like to walk.
“It was perfectly necessary. She didn’t fight at all, which means she stands a chance.” It also means she is dangerous as she brings hope. I refuse to look at Horn’s human fingers. My hands were once clawless, and I was human once, but that is all I can dredge from my mind.
“Or you could have trusted her word.”
“And when did you start trusting anyone? You don’t even trust me. I could feel your rage and your need to step in and save her. What stopped you?”
He scowls at me, his one eye bright and burning, and I know he is holding back. I would also be afraid to lose my last eye. The advantage of having four is that I have three spares, but it’s not a funny joke and four-eyes is a name I was once given, and it hurt. I half expected Horn’s foundling to call me that. If she had…well, she’d be dead in my arms, not limp.
I could put her down, but her weight is nice, and even though my fingerprints mark her throat, or perhaps because they do, there is a certain appeal to someone so soft and delicate here. They don’t survive, or if they do, they aren’t soft for long.
There is something in that thought that scratches under my skin as though demanding to be set free. I want to itch the wound and see what bleeds out, but I don’t know how. I had assumed the memories of my life before were gone forever, but maybe they aren’t.
“I was going to watch her drown and then bring back the parts. But she wanted to live, so I pulled her out. Then I was going to kill her, so we’d have dinner, but she asked for help like she knew something about this place, and I wanted to learn. And she offered sex.”
I roll all four of my eyes. “Because you can’t get that here.”
He shrugs. “I didn’t need to fight for it, and I enjoyed it.”
I glance at the woman in my arms. “Did she?”
I’m not sure why it matters, but it does. If we are protecting her, then we shouldn’t be abusing her. Even that thought is like a prickle catching in my fur. Is just touching her doing something to my mind?
If I let go of her, will I go back to how I was, thinking of only survival?
Do I want to go back?
Her soft skin and light weight becomes alien and I want her gone. I place her on the ground and move away, hoping the strangeness in my body disintegrates now I’m not touching her.