“I’ll buy you a new necklace when I get back on my feet.”
He was always going to replace what he’d sold. I need to stop holding my breath and waiting. I need to start living.
“I don’t want a new necklace. That was a family heirloom.” The lie is sour on my tongue.
“I’ve got nowhere to go. You can’t throw me out.” His expression softens and I can feel myself wavering.
If I throw him out, he won’t receive the help he needs. I’m being cruel.
I’ll be alone.
My inner bitch whispers that I’d be better alone. She might be right, but she’s also the crack that the monsters will use to drag me in Under.
I hesitate.
“I need a grand, then I can get it back.”
A grand? My mouth drops open. “Did you sell it or are you bribing me?”
I don’t know which is worse.
“Those are your options.”
I turn away, disgust at him and myself roiling in my belly. “It’s my name on the lease. I want the necklace or your ass out by the time I return home.”
I shove my phone into my pocket and snatch up my bag. As I walk out of the bedroom, I shove my little box of jewelry into my bag along with my laptop. If he sells everything else while I’m in class and at work, I don’t care. I’ll sleep on the floor.
At least then nothing can crawl out from Under.
2
Julie
Ibarely pay attention to my two classes. My hand keeps finding its way to where the claw used to hang just beneath my collarbone and every time I realize it’s not there, panic bursts anew. Even though it’s daylight and the campus is full of people, my gaze is drawn to every shadow. I check under chairs and tables before I sit in case something is lurking.
When my mother was taken, I was two. I don’t remember what happened, but I have the scars on one calf and one wrist from the monster’s claws.
The only reason I didn’t end up in Under with her was because Gran attacked the monster and cut off its hand. Back then she didn’t understand the effect it would have on her. Since then she’s been searching for anything about monsters, and how to get my mother back. She’s learned that while plenty have seen monsters, no one has ever come back after being taken.
And everyone who has fought a monster, and survived, has changed. I shudder and check my own hands to make sure none of my fingers have withered and that my nails haven’t hooked into claws.
Of course they haven’t. I have never shown any monstrous traits and I don’t know why, as there have been times I’ve been angry and lashed out—like this morning. Already I feel bad for telling him to get out. Bret needs help, not me yelling at him.
I place my hand over my throat, but my skin is still mine, not scaly or rough.
Again I notice the chain is missing and anger joins the panic. He knew how much that meant to me, but he’d always admired it even when we first met. And now his dealer has it, or soon will. I didn’t like him the only time I met him. He seemed to assess everything and put a price on it. And any dealer is a monster in my eyes as they provide the drugs that steal the person one bit at a time, right in front of their loved ones.
For a moment I’m tempted to call Gran and tell her that it was stolen and beg for another, but she’ll be so disappointed in me, and I can’t ask her to cut off another claw and send it to me. Though that is exactly what I want.
The class ends and I pack up my laptop. I don’t linger to talk as I only have just enough time to make it to work. By the time my shift finishes, and I get home, it will be dark, and for the first time in twelve years, I won’t have the necklace to keep me safe.
My heartbeat quickens, but I won’t let fear take hold.
I’ll get home and Bret will be there with the necklace and an apology. He’ll realize that he messed up and this time he’ll take getting help seriously and he’ll go back to college or get a job, and everything will be fine. We’ll be like we were.
And I’ll be safe.
I stride across the campus to the bus stop.