He smiled, wide and warm. “Aye, I would. But you have more than earned my loyalty, Miss Vanguard,” he said solemnly. “I would die for you because it’s my job, but it would also be my honour. You have grown into a remarkable woman, and it is my privilege to be in your service.”
I felt tears threaten and huffed a laugh to keep them at bay. “Marco, who knew you were such a soft-touch at heart?”
He wrapped me in a hug with a huffed laugh of his own. “Take that to your grave, miss.”
I noticed the change in moniker, but I didn’t bring attention to it. I took it and appreciated it for the gesture it was.
We pulled away and I wiped my eyes dry.
“What is it Florence says, miss?” he asked me cavalierly. “Tea and cake?”
I smiled. “That she does, but I’m paying.”
“But my taxes, miss,” he whined jokingly as I linked my arm with his and we headed for the café.
Life might have been a bit shit, but I would survive. I would survive and I would make sure I would thrive. And I had people around me who would help me with that. Starting with my very own guardian Angel.
† † † †
The next Thursday, my phone buzzed.
Apollo
Can we talk? Before the holidays. Please?
I looked at the message and sighed.
“What’s up?” Florence asked.
“Apollo wants to talk.”
“About what?” she asked very quickly.
I shrugged, ignoring the squeak in her voice. “I don’t know. He didn’t say.”
She cleared her throat. “Do you…wantto talk to him?”
After talking to Marco the weekend before, I did.
I didn’t think that Marco would embellish Apollo’s behaviour. He wasn’t that kind of guy, and hewasprofessing to be fighting my battles. So, I believed him when he said Apollo wasn’t instantly back to fucking any idiot who’d spread her legs for him. I chose to see that as Apollo growing as a person. Maybe he didn’t even realise it yet, but it was a step forward. Or back, in his case. Back to the decent guy I knew was in there somewhere.
When I’d told Marco that Apollo was like a really annoying brother, I think I’d finally hit on exactly how I felt about him and had felt about him all this time. He was ingrained in my soul as someone I could never choose to live without, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to fuck up or piss me off. It did mean that I knew, eventually, I was going to forgive him, and we’d get past it. Because family was, annoyingly, like that.
The only problem was that I was currently still mad at him. I was mad at himandI missed him, and I didn’t like feeling either of those things, even if he totally deserved both and more.
“I’m going to have to at some point,” I told Florence. “I might not want to marry him and have his babies, but I do love him, and I do miss him.”
“Even after everything?” she asked.
I nodded, feeling conflicted. “He’s like family, Floss. I don’t want to forgive him yet, but I don’t want to be mad at him forever either. He’s like a part of me I can’t let go of no matter how much he fucked up. It may as well be now.”
She nodded slowly. “Okay…”
“You disagree?”
She shook her head quickly, her curls bouncing. “No! No, I don’t disagree. I just don’t want you to feel obligated one way or the other. I want you to stick to the whole doing things at your pace, no more people pleasing unless it pleases you.”
I smiled at her. “Thanks, but this isn’t for him. It’s for me.”