“We’ve gone through a few,” she explained. “After I managed to uncover the one who had been there for a long time but who had two pedophiles for brothers, they haven’t yet hired a permanent replacement.”
“Right, I forgot about her.”
“Yeah, she’s got her own trials right now.”
“But you won’t have anything to do with that, will you?”
“Well, I will if I get called to give testimony,” she replied, popping the last of the burger into her mouth.
As she chewed, he asked, “Eating?”
“Yeah, I picked up a burger and fries.”
“Good God.”
“It was either that or come home and try to find something in my fridge.”
“I already know your fridge is empty.”
“There might be a few things moldy and growing inside it, but I haven’t had much time to take a closer look.”
“When you get into a case, you get into a case 150 percent, don’t you?”
“Yes,” she murmured, “and I have to. Otherwise we don’t end up saving anybody.”
“That’s not on you,” he reminded her. “You can only do so much.”
“No,” she snapped. “I need to do more. A woman is suffering right now.”
Simon hesitated for a beat on the other end. “What if I’m wrong?” he asked in a diffident tone.
She stopped and stared at her phone. “Are you?” She hadn’t even considered that. “You know that it says a lot about how far I’ve come,” she noted, “because I didn’t even question it.”
“I know,” he agreed, “but don’t worry. I do enough questioning for both of us.”
“The unwilling psychic,” she teased, with a bitter laugh. “You know what? So far, your information has been accurate, although I’m not sure about this church window. However, I suspect, whenever we find the crime scene or this victim, this window of yours will have some pertinence.”
“It might,” he agreed, “yet I could be wrong.”
“Because everything comes couched inmight beandcould be.”
“I really wish I could change that.”
“But you can’t. Look. I’m not in any shape to talk to right now, if you don’t have any messages or information.” She added, “I’m really tired, so I’ll go have a shower and hit the sack.”
Without waiting for an answer, she turned off her phone and got up. It wasn’t fair to Simon, and it sure as hell wasn’t fair to her, but, every time she talked to him, he made her want more. More than she could have. More information on this victim. More answers to the questions in her head. More of him. More time together. More of a life outside of work. Even though her work drove her, she didn’t want to end up losing her sanity over this job.
Every night she woke up seeing these victims. Every night she went to bed, desperate to let them slide into the recesses of her mind, so she didn’t go crazy. Then every morning she woke up vowing to get out of bed, determined to help them. And today, all day, what a waste.
She got up and headed to the shower. When she came back out, she threw on an old T-shirt, crawled into bed, and collapsed.
*
Saturday Morning
When her phonerang, she reached through the darkness for it and mumbled, “Hello.” She heard Rodney’s voice at the other end.
“Are you okay?” he asked.