“No. Because—” And then she stopped.
“Because what?”
“I just feel like it’s better if I’m here.”
“So, then you’re not a prisoner.”
“I don’t know. I’ve never tried to leave. They keep the door shut, and, when I try to open the door, it’s locked.”
“So—”
“I think they just do it for my,… you know, to keep me alive.”
“So you don’t try to commit suicide?”
“Yes,” she said in a fretful voice.
“How often do you get out of there?”
“Every once in a while.” But something odd was in her voice.
“Meaning?”
“I do go out and meet some people every once in a while.”
“And does your family know about it?”
“No,” she whispered. “And I shouldn’t be telling you either.”
“Why not?”
“You wouldn’t understand. Unless you’ve ever loved and lost, you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh, I’ve loved and lost. I understand a hell of a lot more than you might think I do,” he snapped. He could sense that she was fading away from him again. “Have you done anything to hurt other people?”
“Why would you ask me that?” she said, her voice wary.
“I don’t know. Maybe because you’re scaring me.”
“I scare myself,” she said quietly.
“What is going on?” he roared, and she immediately shut down. He stared at his phone in his hand, wondering if he should call Kate. But what would he tell her? That this was a slightly crazy lady, who may or may not be locked up. And then he realized that Kate really needed to talk to Pamela. Kate really needed to get some information from this woman.
“Listen, if you want to get loose,” he called out to Pamela quietly, “this is your chance. This is your chance to redeem yourself.”
She whispered back, “There is no redeeming me.”
“There is, if you want it bad enough. Cops are on the way because they need to talk to you. They need to talk to you about your accident and the other related accidents.”
There was a jolt to his system, as he realized it was her jolt. He nodded. “Yes, and they are the ones who can help you.”
“No.” She sounded almost frantic.
“Yes,” he snapped. “It’s time.”
Almost as if she gave in, she whispered, “Yes, it’s time.” And she cried.
He didn’t know how to convince her this was the time for some real change, even just some little improvement out of the mire of guilt and agony and self-hate that she and others had built around Pamela. Simon could only hope that Pamela got the message he had intended. He sat back, prepared to wait, and hated every minute of it.