“What do you mean?” he asked, frowning at her.
“Was she not your fiancée?”
He frowned, then nodded. “Did I tell you about that?”
“It came up somewhere along the line,” she said.
“Yeah, so that was another part of it. I could no longer trust my judgment either. But she has pulled some pretty ugly shit after we broke up, and I just couldn’t let her off the hook on it. As much as I’ve forgiven her for a lot of it, I can’t forgive her for all of it. A part of me wonders if she still thinks she’s got some hold over me, though she tells me she doesn’t.”
“Is she blackmailing you?” Kate stared at him in shock.
“Maybe, she certainly did over her nephew.”
“On that point, if it was about saving my brother, and you had the ability to help me, I might blackmail you too,” she said succinctly. “Love will do that to us.”
He looked at her and slowly nodded. “You know what? That I could accept. And see? You’re right upfront about it.”
“Hands down, if that had been my brother, I’d have killed for him. If I could have answers anywhere along the line for what happened to him and to find the asshole who did it, I would do whatever it took.”
He nodded. “That at least lets me know where you stand. I would never do it unnecessarily. I would never do it for money. I would never do it for power. But… I would do it for love.”
She said quietly, “So, I guess that tells me where we both stand. So the question is, is that a deal breaker?”
He looked at her thoughtfully. “The thing is, in your case—and in the case of Caitlyn’s nephew back then—I could understand it because you’re right. For love, we do things like that. If I could have blackmailed somebody into saving me all those years ago, I would have done it myself,” he said quietly. “It’s love, but it’s also to save someone who you care about. Even if it’s yourself.”
She nodded. “That’s the thing really. The human psyche is pretty basic. It’s called survival.”
*
That was theone thing about Kate that Simon never had to wonder about. She was as direct and as clear-cut as anyone could be. But he also had heard the tremor in her voice when she had talked about her brother. “Just for the record”—he reached across the table and picked up her hand—“I’ve never yet connected to anything about your brother.”
She looked up at him, her gaze searching, and he realized that she probably had wanted to ask that question many times, but it wasn’t in her to do so.
He squeezed her fingers gently. “And, yes, if I had anything at all I could tell you, I would, and I promise that, if it ever happens, I will definitely pass on the word.”
“Good, not that I believe in any of that stuff.”
He smiled as she tossed it off, but he also heard the relief in her voice and saw it on her face. “I get that,” he said comfortably, as he settled back. “And I love the fact that you’re very direct. It saves time.”
“It does, indeed, but most people aren’t that way, and many don’t appreciate it.”
“That’s because most people are idiots.”
She laughed. “No argument there. So, are you going to tell me what she was blackmailing you about?”
He hesitated and then shrugged. “It’s not exactly something that you don’t already know.”
She frowned. “If I already know, then what’s to blackmail?”
“That’s the thing. I don’t know.”
“Meaning?” She looked at him. “You’re talking in puzzles.”
“Okay. Have I ever had nightmares when I’m sleeping with you?”
“Yep. Have I ever had nightmares when I’m sleeping with you?”
He looked at her in surprise. “Well, yeah.”