“I have no plans to burn out,” she said, “and your concern is noted.”
He laughed. “Noted and ignored from the sounds of it.”
“Not so much ignored,” she said, with a smile. “Consider it noted. I’m not sure what to do with it or any of this at the moment.”
“Or Simon either from the looks of it.”
She frowned at him. “Is it that obvious?”
He nodded. “Yes, it is,” he said, “and I don’t blame you. He can’t be an easy person to live with, and to know that he has some information but not enough has got to be frustrating.”
“Does he have real information though?” she asked. “I’m still trying to figure that out.”
“Ah,” he said, with a smile. “You’re trying to figure out if he’s telling the truth. I would have thought you’d already gotten there by now.”
“I already did,” she said, “at least on the last case. And I know that he’s connected to someone out there who’s currently contemplating suicide.”
“Maybe the problem is that you do believe it, and you’re having trouble with it.”
“Don’t start psychoanalyzing me,” she snapped.
He held up his hands. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he said. “Time to change the subject.”
“Good,” she said, glaring at him. “Is there any coffee?”
“I’ll hope so,” he said, “if this is how you’re starting the day.”
She shook her head. “Look. I don’t know how I feel about all of this. I don’t know how I feel about Simon or his somewhat useful information sometimes,” she snapped. “I find it to all be a bit much.”
“It’s absolutely a bit much,” he said. “Personally I’m getting more open to it. Remember my grandmother had the sight too? I kinda like this stuff. I think it’s cool. I really am fascinated with the fact that any of this information is even accessible because, if it’s accessible to somebody, it could be accessible to all kinds of people.”
She stopped and stared. “What do you mean by that?”
“Well, I imagine that other people can do what he does too.”
“Sure,” she said, “charlatans are all over the world.”
He rolled his eyes at that.
“All right, all right. It’s a defense mechanism, okay?” she admitted. “Basically I just don’t know what to believe. It feels like you guys are always pushing me to give you more than I can give you.”
“Maybe that’s how Simon feels about you too,” Rodney noted. When she almost growled at her partner, he added, “It’s not that we want more from you,” he said, “but, if Simon had more information, we’d cheerfully take it.”
“Even though the information comes from these crazy oblique sources?”
“Yes,” he said. “There are no real answers anywhere. Sure, a certain amount are clear, but the vast majority come to us tied up in puzzles of one kind or another. But that’s what we do, unravel puzzles, right?”
Walking toward the coffee room to get herself a coffee, she had to ponder his words. Because that was exactly what they did;putting puzzles togetherwas a perfect description. Of course that made her feel like shit because she hadn’t talked to Simon last night. She’d hoped that he would assume it was all about work, and it was to a certain extent.
But her hesitancy was also about her confusion and about not knowing how to handle Simon and his “gift.” He was as much tormented by all of this as she was tormented by the information she couldn’t get. And to think that a well of it might be there for him to tap into, but couldn’t, drove her crazy, and that just brought her back to wondering how the hell she could even believe this stuff in the first place.
Maybe she was the one who was crazy.
As she walked back into the bullpen, some of the other team members arrived. Lilliana was dressed to the nines. Kate stopped, stared, and whistled. “Good God,” she said, “you’re always magazine perfect.”
Lilliana looked at her in surprise. “Magazine perfect?”
“Yeah,” she said. “I wouldn’t have a clue how to even begin to dress like that. And I can’t imagine doing any work in heels.”