Gray’s first instinct was to approach the bar instead of watching the single dancer rub her bikini-clad body against the pole, but he then decided they would have more privacy near the stage and ended up making his way there instead. On his way, he walked through clouds of an intensely sweet smell that was masking unpleasant odors, but one could only put so much perfume on a skunk.
The neon lights created the illusion of glamour, but Gray had seen too many such establishments with the bright glow gone in favor of regular lamps to be fooled. The chairs were cheap and around Gray’s own age. The striped curtain draped above the bar to create an air of excess snowed dust on anyone passing, and the three stairs leading to the podium where the dancer worked were covered in the same cheap carpeting as the floor. The place was dirty and likely didn’t make most of its cash in the business that was officially conducted here.
They had barely sat in front of the dancing woman when a waitress clad in the tightest neon shorts and a matching bra approached them about their orders. They got beers, even though Gray wasn’t planning on drinking. He had to watch out for Shadow, since he’d only been alive for a little bit over a month and wouldn’t have a high tolerance for alcohol.
Shadow sat on a stool next to Gray but was obviously distracted by the new place. Soon enough, someone would notice that the newcomer wasn’t paying attention to the tits in front of him. And that would mean trouble.
Gray leaned closer, clearing his throat. “Do you like the dancer?” he asked, keeping his eyes on the scantily-clad woman.
She wasn’t much to look at—on the thin side, with cheekbones that were too prominent to be considered healthy in appearance. There was little energy to her movements, as if she’d been doing this for hours and was starting to run out of steam.
Shadow’s attention was instantly back on Gray, so at least there was that. “Do you dance?”
Gray’s heart might have skipped a beat when Shadow smiled. Even in this dirty, unpleasant place, his presence was the flicker of light Gray needed.
“No, but you can imagine it’s me up there. We need to look interested in what she’s doing,” he whispered, nodding at the woman with feigned appreciation when she slid down the pole, spreading her legs wide so that the metal rod was on show against her crotch.
Shadow turned his gaze to the stage and the smirk on his pretty lips made Gray want to shake his head. Even now, when their life—or at least their health—was at stake, Shadow remained his cheerful self. Was this what a life with Shadow at his side would look like? A stream of joy and pleasure with a man so focused on him that no-one and nothing else mattered?
Yet, despite feeling so close to him, there were still so many things Gray didn’t understand about his new lover. Perhaps even many Shadow didn’t understand about himself either.
“If this was a different woman, would you enjoy looking at her, or do you only like men?” Gray whispered.
Shadow kept his eyes on the stage, but his expression became thoughtful. “I don’t think I understand the question.”
Gray cleared his throat and leaned even closer. “Well… what type of people do you find attractive? What made you excited when you watched the movies Joker showed you?”
Shadow chewed on his lip. “When I thought of doing all those things with you. I mean… the ones that didn’t involve a vagina, since neither of us has one.”
Gray frowned at how convoluted it all sounded. “So… you’re gay like me. Makes sense. What did you like the most?” he asked, wanting to get more information about Shadow’s sexuality. He wanted to make things fun for him. Even the dick pizza thing wasn’t entirely off the table, if Shadow really wanted to try that again. Gray could compromise.
Shadow’s gaze on him was almost as intense as being licked. “I liked seeing fucking, sucking, fingers going in and out. The way bodies can connect and slide into each other. But watching is nothing in comparison to having you. Watching was like pleasure that only built up in me and couldn’t find a way out.”
Gray snorted and offered the dancer a bill when she walked past them to dance on the other pole mounted on the elongated platform. “Some of them must have made you come easier than others.”
Shadow frowned. “I only come with you. Even thinking about you isn’t enough.”
Gray blinked, so surprised he took his eyes off the dancing woman and stared straight at Shadow. “What? You don’t jerk off?” he asked, lowering his voice halfway into the sentence.
“Is that a bad thing? I mean… I’ve tried but I can’t finish, so I gave up.”