It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy their company, but it could be so overwhelming at times. Mike used to live for endless chatting and parties, and he would always make Gray stay that bit longer. Without him around, Gray felt like there was no one to guide him through the transparent wall that was always in place between him and others. It could be thinner and more fragile with those close to him, but even with his brothers, that barrier was still in place.
Tonight, he needed a lot more peace than usual. The secret of his role in Baal’s plans had taken its toll on his nerves, and he’d much rather stress out on his own, where there was no one to judge or worry about him. Warming up a beer between his legs as he ate wasn’t that much fun either.
With the small shoulder bag that contained all the stuff he’d had with him at the hospital, he made his way to his quarters in the middle of the huge courtyard between the long wings of the oversized building. It was finally getting dark, but signs of damage left behind by explosives and fire were like ulcerous scars on the only home Gray knew.
He should have been here to help everyone with rebuilding. Just like Beast, he’d grown up in this place, and seeing it in such a sorry state made him ill. Every spot brought back memories from a strange yet happy childhood and youth. The garage—now a pile of bricks without a roof—was where he and his twin had learned how to repair bikes and where Mike had built a kick scooter when they were still too young to have motorbikes of their own. All those pieces of the past were now marred by soot and dust from the fire.
He could have entered his apartment via the skywalk that connected one of the wings of the main building with the structure in the middle of the courtyard where Gray lived, but he decided he needed to have a look at the people currently occupying the first floor.
At least a dozen pairs of eyes turned to him when he entered the gym. Mattresses lay in all the empty spaces, equipment was being used as shelves, and someone even set up his mattress in the boxing ring, as if he were the king of builders.
The guy in there sat up when he spotted Gray from his elevated bedroom area and waved. “Hey! I heard you’d be coming over tonight.”
Gray should have taken the skywalk after all.
He raised his hand in greeting but made sure to avoid any eyes, eager to be on his own turf. “That’s me. Hope you’re comfortable.”
One of the younger guys got up. “Very much actually. It’s nice and warm in here, but Rev said we’re gonna have to move. What’s that about? It’s not like you’re gonna use all this equipment now, right?”
Gray stopped, and his missing hand itched as if the skin of his stump was about to break and grow him a new arm. “Why wouldn’t I use my own equipment?”
This time the guy seemed more defensive. “I mean… there’s only you here, and the other guys weren’t bothered with us staying. And you’ve just come out of the hospital and all that.”
Gray only had one hand, but he would’ve gladly strangled anyone who gossiped about him. Too bad half those people were probably his brothers.
“Just like you said, I’ve just returned from the hospital. Best if you follow what Rev said then.” He walked through the metal door that led straight to the narrow staircase.
After years of living there, he didn’t bother switching on the light and started the spiral climb. The metal steps thudded under his feet, creating a dull echo in the tube-like structure that cut off any outside sound. He instantly felt at home, and the sense of peace grew as he entered the small corridor where the skywalk met the door to his apartment.
The code guarding the entrance to his kingdom wasn’t something he needed to consciously think about, but as he raised his hand to type it in, he couldn’t feel the cold of the metal buttons against his fingers. That was when he remembered why he’d been absent for so long.
With a low exhale, Gray opened the lock with the hand he still had and entered his personal space, at once greeted with the smell of heavy, somewhat moldy air.
The first thing he did was open the window, but all small actions that he used to do without effort were now problematic. He stared out into the dark sky where the sickle-shaped new moon was already emerging like a reminder that he wasn’t free to rest.
Still, the familiar sight of the place where he’d lived since Mike discovered sex at fourteen and refused to share a room any longer was a cooling balm to Gray’s soul. The white and ash-colored walls appeared so pure Gray’s muscles gradually relaxed. The room was large, made even more spacious by the fact that Gray didn’t need much. He only owned a couple of pieces of furniture, with the few luxuries being a media center and a large tub in the ensuite.