The bright smile was worth every ounce of embarrassment Gray would feel having to call Beast and tell him he wasn’t coming after all.
“I’m so happy.”
And if that wasn’t the purest expression of joy Gray had ever heard, he didn’t know what was. He wanted to touch it, but the phone burned in his pocket and he quickly pulled it out. A short message was enough, and he was relieved when it was back in his jeans, switched off for the evening.
It was a warm night for the time of the year, but Gray still felt little shivers running up and down his body when his gaze met Shadow’s. “Me too.”
Shadow hugged Gray tight and pulled him to the blanket. He pointed to a large bag farther away. “I even brought comforters in case it got cold.”
Death was knocking at his door, and yet here Shadow was. Smiling. Opening a bottle of wine. His long black hair wasn’t going gray from stress. He didn’t fear for the future and only cared that Gray was with him.
When Shadow had confessed that he wasn’t attracted to anyone but Gray, it seemed scary. Unnatural. But now that they faced one another, alone, under the tree that would ultimately take Shadow away, Gray couldn’t help the regret bleeding his heart.
His life had been a sequence of romantic disappointments. And now, when he met someone who’d been literally created to complement him and him only—his shadow—their relationship had no future.
“How did you manage to get all this here?”
Shadow handed Gray a glass of red wine, and Gray could only imagine which one of Nao’s Pinterest boards had given him the idea for this anniversary picnic.
“Jake helped me bring it over.” He opened the wicker basket, but then scowled, picking up a piece of paper. “No! I had a donut for you. It was heart-shaped. I can’t believe it! It was supposed to be perfect.” With a bitter scowl twisting his face, he showed Gray the familiar handwriting. “Look, Knight ate it, and left a note saying he’s sorry. I don’t care about his apology. I’ve got no donut.”
Gray watched him, lips open to the cool air. Every time he inhaled, it turned into a hot cloud inside his chest. He touched Shadow’s arm. “Don’t worry. We have enough food even without it.”
“It’s just… not something a friend should do.” Shadow stared into the basket with a deep frown.
Gray slid his arm around Shadow’s waist and pressed his cheek to his shoulder. The aroma of hair product couldn’t overpower the natural scent of Shadow’s body, which radiated heat so intense Gray found himself leaning even closer at a sudden gust of wind.
“It’s fine. It’s the thought that counts,” he whispered close to Shadow’s ear.
Shadow’s attention was instantly back on him, and he rubbed Gray’s nose with his own. “Thank you for staying.”
Gray doubted he would ever meet someone as emotionally open as Shadow. It was as if he were ready to take any blow if it allowed him to be closer to the man he wanted.
Heat curled at the pit of his stomach as the gentle touch caused little sparks to trail lower and tease Gray’s lips. He quickly took a large sip of wine to keep his mouth busy. “You’re like a wild child, you know.”
“What’s that?” Shadow smiled, and his heavy arm over Gray’s shoulders was a pleasant reminder that if he only chose to, Gray could have Shadow. He held all the cards. And yet it felt that Shadow was the one who would rattle Gray’s heart if given the opportunity.
He had more wine, but its sour taste somehow only exaggerated the pleasant scent that Shadow always carried with him. They sat so close together, their thighs touching, arms resting on one another’s bodies. It would only take one gesture to reframe this situation.
“It’s a child that’s been raised without people. Like Tarzan. You’re so… different from anyone I’ve ever met,” Gray whispered, staring into the eyes that glowed a faint red.
“In a good way? I’m really sorry about the donut.” Shadow wouldn’t even blink, focused on Gray and Gray only. When he licked his lips, it wasn’t hard to guess what had to be on his mind.
Gray hesitated, swirling the wine in the glass when his hand trembled slightly. He didn’t know what to do with it on the uneven surface, so he kept holding it even when the pull in his chest became too painful to bear.
“It’s already perfect. Stop thinking about the donut.”
Shadow pressed his forehead to Gray’s. “Okay. I’d rather think about you anyway.”
Gray swallowed hard, and his breath became shallower when he raised his face until his nose aligned with Shadow’s. Smooth long hair tickled his check. “Yeah, let’s just think about me now.”
Shadow put his drink in the grass and didn’t seem to care when it tipped over. He rested his fingers against Gray’s cheek and gently rubbed them all the way to the jaw. “Can we cuddle?”