Smokey chuckled. “You think I’m in love with Ava.”
“It shouldn’t hurt.”
“What?”
“If you don’t have any feelings for Ava whatsoever, none of this should hurt. You shouldn’t feel a damn thing. My question to you, Smokey, is do you?”
He stared at Ugly Beast.
Even though they’d had their differences, he still considered him a friend, even outside of the club.
“You can’t even admit your feelings to me.”
“I don’t know what I feel for Ava right now.”
“She’s innocent. Your decision, your lack of trust did this. How does that make you feel?”
“Like I want to hit something and to keep on hitting it until there’s nothing left. I want to destroy Creed.”
“And you don’t think that comes from some feeling for her?” Ugly Beast asked.
“When did you become some kind of expert?”
“Since I fell in love with my wife and have the most perfect daughter in the world. I don’t know why you picked me to marry Abriana. You’ve got your reasonings, and now, it doesn’t matter to me. She’s the love of my life. You gave that to me. One day, I hope you’re able to feel something for a woman besides anger.”
Ugly Beast made his way outside of the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
What did he feel for Ava?
Guilt. That was a big one.
Loss. He’d fucked up.
Love. He stopped.
She’d told him she loved him. She hadn’t expected anything from him. No reciprocation of that love. She’d just told him how she felt.
That love had come out of nowhere.
You love her.
Smokey refused to listen.
Ava’s smiling face invaded his mind. The way she moaned. His name falling from her lips. Her touch.
All of it ran through his mind, threatening to consume him. He ached for her.
Then he thought of the way she’d scurried away from him. The pain in her eyes.
Last night, before he’d made his presence known, he’d heard her sob.
He’d done that. No one else. He was responsible for hurting her, and it killed him.
He wanted to protect her. To show her that she could trust him.
Instead, there was nothing he could do. When she’d needed him most, he’d trusted the lies of the camera. Creed had done this on purpose, and rather than trust her, he’d figured she was lying to him.
He was the monster in her world, no one else.
After picking up the gavel, he launched it across the room. One by one, he threw the chairs out of his way. One of them crashed into the window, smashing it.
The bakery. He’d forgotten about that. Kinky and Brick had gone back to take care of it.
The town would know she was on the club’s shit list. When he didn’t think it could get any worse, it did.
Ava didn’t deserve this. She never did.
Feeling like a fucking monster, he left the church and ignored the people who watched him leave.
He had to get to Ava’s. She was going to be so upset. All her life, she’d wanted to own that bakery. She had told him all about that dream. Derek had stopped her from seeing it, and now he’d stopped her from even being able to live it.