“And I shouldn’t have even tried to keep him around. I shouldn’t have . . .” He looked over to see her biting her lip, staring at the ceiling. “You can’t always control your heart,” she concluded at last. “If I’d been better about mine, we wouldn’t have gotten into this mess.” She nodded firmly. “Next time, no feelings. Feelings are for family, not for people like Siranos.Men.” A moment later, she added, “He wrote me love letters. They weren’t any good, but I guess they don’t have to be, when they’re for you. I’ve decided to keep them, seeing as how I won’t be getting any more from anyone else.”
“Why not?” He sat up, shifting Eyne’s weight. “There will be someone else for you.”
“I don’t think so. I’d rather not risk the kingdom over it. I don’t need love letters to get another child or two.”
“So you’re just resigning yourself to being alone forever?”
“Not alone, am I? I have you and Eyne, and our grandparents for a little while longer, and more kahyalar than I know what to do with.” She considered for a moment. “I could get a dog.” She forced a smile, as if heweren’ther brother, as if he hadn’t known her his whole life, as if he couldn’t tell when she was hiding her pain. She was better at it than Evemer was, but even so, he could see right through her. She’d been betrayed by someone she’d liked. Of course she was in pain.
Kadou laid Eyne in a nest of cushions and squirmed over to Zeliha, wrapping an arm across her and pushing his head under her chin as he’d done when they sprawled like this as children. She huffed a short, sad laugh and returned the hug for a few moments before she drew back. Her eyes were a little red, but she blinked it away. “Let’s not talk about it any more today.”
“All right. You never answered about whether I could use your baths.”
“Oh. ’Course you can. They’re closer to your new quarters, anyway. You can take His Grace along, if you want, if he’s still here in the winter when it’s crowded again.”
“I . . . suppose I could,” Kadou said dubiously. He didn’t particularly enjoy going to the bathhouse with acquaintances. “Won’t you want him to go with you?”
“Why would he go with me?”
They both raised their heads and exchanged bewildered looks.
“Because you’re bringing him here to court him, to give me another niece?”
Zeliha sat up in astonishment. “He’s not forme,he’s for you!”
“What?” Kadou’s heart stopped in his chest.
“Why did you think I was showing you his picture?”
“I thought you were—I don’t know, bragging! Or just excited! Or that you were hoping I’d be friends with him!”
“You told me to invite him here!”
“I was trying to encourage you! I was being supportive!”
“Oh, gods above and below—Asad! Evemer!” she shouted toward the door.
Asad, one of the kahyalar currently standing watch, opened the door and looked in. “Majesty?”
“Come here a minute, both of you.” When they had done so, she said, “Hypothetical question. If you were a reasonable person and your sultan invited you to lunch, and then showed you a picture of someone pretty and asked what you thought of them, could you logically conclude that she had a particular reason? For example, oh, I don’t know,because she was trying to offer them to you as someone you might like to marry?”
Asad stifled a smile. “To be fair, Your Majesty, you did show that picture of that Vintish duc to about six of us, and none ofusthought you were trying to arrange a match for us. But if I were a prince . . . I probably would have made that guess.”
“See?” she said, turning back to Kadou. “You know, he wrote me a letter to say hello. Did I not tell you about that?”
“No,” Kadou said faintly. He was trying very hard not to look at Evemer.
“A very nice letter. And he included a poem that he wrote for you! I am pleased to report that, incredibly, it’s not awful. He made a very cute pun onKadouandun cadeau,clearly thought he was being clever, though he’d be cleverer if he’d already known the story about your name. I’ve been wondering—isit a pun if it’s just the same word?”
Kadou could acutely feel Evemer’s presence by the door.
He’d be standing there with his stone-wall face on, as impassive as a mountain. He’d be thinking this was right and good, that Kadou was dutiful and obedient to his monarch, a good prince. There were things that were just right, things that you had to do regardless of your feelings, of your wants, of your heart crying outno, not yet, I thought I could steal just a little more time.
“When,” Kadou said, voice cracking. He swallowed and tried again, “When were you wanting to arrange this?”
“After he comes to visit and you decide whether you like him. If you do, it’d be several months at least to finalize everything. Perhaps a year,” Zeliha said. “Negotiations and contracts and so forth, and then another six months on top of that to plan the wedding.”
He wasn’t going to look at Evemer. He wasn’t. Hewasn’t.