'She still goes to the Spiteful Sisters of Seven-Handed Sek Charity School, doesn't she?' Colon smiled nervously at Angua, still not sure of what was happening. 'She's the daughter of Corporal Curry, but of course he was before your time—'
Angua looked up at Carrot's face. His expression was unreadable.
'They're the widows of coppers?' she said.
He nodded. 'And one orphan.'
'It's a tough old life,' said Colon. 'No pensions for widows, see.'
He looked from one to the other.
'Is there something wrong?' he said.
Carrot relaxed his grip, turned, slipped the book into the box, and shut the lid.
'No,' he said.
'Look, I'm sorr—' Angua began. Carrot ignored her and nodded at the sergeant.
'Give him the coffee.'
'But . . . fourteen dollars . . . that's nearly half his pay!'
Carrot picked up Vimes' limp arm and tried to prise his fist open, but even though Vimes was out cold the fingers were locked.
'I mean, half his pay!'
'I don't know what he's holding in here,' said Carrot, ignoring her. 'Maybe it's a clue.'
He took the coffee and hauled up Vimes by his collar.
'You just drink this, captain,' he said, 'and everything will look a lot . . . clearer . . .'
Klatchian coffee has an even bigger sobering effect than an unexpected brown envelope from the tax man. In fact, coffee enthusiasts take the precaution of getting thoroughly drunk before touching the stuff, because Klatchian coffee takes you back through sobriety and, if you're not careful, out the other side, where the mind of man should not go. The Watch was generally of the opinion that Samuel Vimes was at least two drinks under par, and needed a stiff double even to be sober.
'Careful . . . careful . . .' Carrot let a few drops dribble between Vimes' lips.
'Look, when I said—' Angua began.
'Forget it.' Carrot didn't even look round.
'I was only—'
'I said forget it.'
Vimes opened his eyes, took a look at the world, and screamed.
'Nobby!'
'Yes, sarge?'
'Did you buy the Red Desert Special or the Curly Mountain Straight?'
'Red Desert, sarge, because—'
'You could have said. Better get me—' He glanced at Vimes' grimace of horror'—half a glass of Bearhugger's. We've sent him too far the other way.'
The glass was fetched and administered. Vimes un-stiffened as it took effect.