'Where's the crowd thickest?' said Carrot.

Anywhere the trolls are,' said Colon. He remembered himself. 'Only joking,' he added.

'Very well,' said Carrot. 'Everyone follow me.'

The babble stopped as the militia marched, lumbered, trotted and knuckled towards the Day Watch House.

A couple of very large trolls blocked the way. The crowd watched in expectant silence.

Any minute now, Colon thought, someone's going to throw something. And then we're all going to die.

He glanced up. Slowly and jerkily, gargoyle heads were appearing along the gutters. No-one wanted to miss a good fight.

Carrot nodded at the two trolls.

They'd got lichen all over them, Colon noticed.

'It's Bluejohn and Bauxite, isn't it?' said Carrot.

Bluejohn, despite himself, nodded. Bauxite was tougher, and merely glared.

'You're just the sort I was looking for,' Carrot went on.

Colon gripped his helmet like a size #10 limpet trying to crawl up into a size #1 shell. Bauxite was an avalanche with feet.

'You're conscripted,' said Carrot.

Colon peeked out from under the brim.

'Report to Corporal Nobbs for your weapons. Lance-Constable Detritus will administer the oath.' He stood back. 'Welcome to the Citizens' Watch. Remember, every lance-constable has a fieldmarshal's baton in his knapsack.'

The trolls hadn't moved.

Ain't gonna be inna Watch,' said Bauxite.

'Officer material if ever I saw it,' said Carrot.

'Hey, you can't put them in the Watch!' shouted a dwarf from the crowd.

'Why, hello, Mr Stronginthearm,' said Carrot. 'Good to see community leaders here. Why can't they be in the militia?'

All the trolls listened intently. Stronginthearm realized that he was suddenly the centre of attention, and hesitated.

'Well . . . you've only got the one dwarf, for one thing . . .' he began.

'I'm a dwarf,' said Carrot, 'technically.'

Stronginthearm looked a little nervous. The whole issue of Carrot's keenly embraced dwarfishness was a difficult one for the more politically minded dwarfs.

'You're a bit big,' he said lamely.

'Big? What's size got to do with being a dwarf?' Carrot demanded.

'Um . . . a lot?' whispered Cuddy.

'Good point,' said Carrot. 'That's a good point.' He scanned the faces. 'Right. We need some honest, law-abiding dwarfs . . . you there . . .'

'Me?' said an unwary dwarf.