I could still smell my dad's musty study. Floor-to-ceiling bookshelves lined every single wall of the room, and a green leather chair was always facing the mahogany desk. Dad wouldn't turn his own chair, not until I spoke up and alerted him of my presence. Then, ever so slowly, he'd turn in his chair, lean slowly across the table, and say, "Are you ready?"
I'd nod as tears streamed down my face, and then I'd confess what I'd done wrong. I never usually had to be told. I always knew when I was in the wrong, whether it was from disrespecting my mother or eating cookies before dinner. He was always fair in the way he scolded, always giving me a chance to plead my case before the gauntlet fell.
I was suddenly ten years old again. Waiting for the damn words I knew that he'd say in a few seconds. We walked along the beach, both of us silent as the waves crashed against the shore.
How had one week messed up my life so much? I had no one to blame but myself.
"Is mom here?"
"At one of the huts." Dad said crisply, still not looking in my direction.
I nodded, not trusting my voice.
We walked a few more feet, away from watchful eyes and people playing in the wate
r. Finally, I sat on one of the lounge chairs and waited.
The silence was just as heavy as the flower-scented air, thick with tension, thick with shame. He was disappointed, and even though I'd tried to do everything right since the day I'd been able to make my own decisions, it seemed it still wasn't enough. Not that he ever said that — t was always assumed in the way he barked orders and the way he held himself.
"I am…" Dad's weathered face cracked into a bright smile, "so proud of you."
"Come again?"
"Nadine, or sorry, Grandma," he rolled his eyes, "confessed to everything. How you fell in love, tried to keep her out of the media, even decided to keep her from me and your mother." He sighed. "I'm proud that you didn't flaunt it. You did it right this time, Jace. Things with Kerry." His voice lowered. "It wasn't well done of us to encourage the match. We should have seen through her. We should have made you wait, instead of pushing you to commit in order to further your career. But. at least now, you're doing things right. I admire you for that."
Hell had officially landed on earth, and I, being an idiot, had jumped into the hand basket and was now floating around, ignorant of every single string Grandma had pulled until now.
"What exactly did Grandma tell you?"
"Everything." Father chuckled. "You're in love. You're using your friends' honeymoons as a way to cover up the wedding. I will admit, at first she said you'd been kidnapped by pirates. But to be fair, it got my attention. I was on the next flight out after we talked. That woman is something else."
"Yeah." I croaked. "She's something."
"So, now that we're here, there's really no reason for you not to get married. I figured now would be best, since the media's been placated for a while."
"Married." How the hell was I going to talk my way out of this one? "You see, Dad, the thing is…"
Tears welled in his eyes. Holy shit. Was he crying?
"I'm sorry." He sniffled. "I've just been so worried about you. I know you're so worried about your career. Hell, you wore a suit to school when you were in sixth grade."
"It was for career day," I grumbled.
"I know, son." Father slapped me on the shoulder. "It's just, now it finally seems like you have everything you've ever wanted. All you have to do is grasp it. Aall you have to do is say yes."
"Yes?"
"To your future." Father's smile grew. "Now, what were you going to tell me?"
I should have said something. I should have told him the truth. Hell, I'd been honest all week with Beth. Why was I suddenly having issues now? Oh right, because telling him the truth would wreck him. And in turn, it would wreck me, because then he'd know it was possible I wasn'tt the man he thought I was. Because I'd stayed with a girl under false pretenses, lying to the world, and then accepted a dare in order to get her to lie to the media about her reasons for being with me.
I was an ass.
And he was looking at me like I was the perfect son. He was looking at me like I'd always wanted him to look at me.
Which was why I found myself saying, "I'm just happy you could make it for the big day."
Royally Screwed: When the only way out is death. See also: Grandma Nadine.