That. Mother. Fucker.
“I’ll do my best to avoid it. I know he’s just a fuckboy–he’s fun and exciting, but that’s it. What we’ve been doing–it’s been a good distraction for me the last few weeks. In between all this other shit going on…” she said.
I didn’t stick around to hear the rest.
I bolted out the door, making sure to shut it quietly, hopped in my car, and took off for Axel’s house. I didn’t need to hear my brother tell my girl I was going to hurt her. I was already worrying about that on my own. To hear it from both of them fucking hurt.
Just a fuckboy–he’s fun and exciting, but that’s it.
If history repeats itself, then yeah, I guess I was a fuckboy. I’d never dated anyone. Never had any interest in it. But why did it sting so bad to hear those words come from her mouth? Was that all I was to her?
I didn’t know where this thing with Ashtyn was going, but I thought of it as more than adistraction. Maybe she was giving me a taste of my own medicine. Revenge for what I did after our first time together.
I tried to ignore the burn in my chest as I sped through town. Fuck, whatever was happening to me hurt like hell.
My phone started ringing which interrupted the music, flashing Bronx’s mug on my screen. Reluctantly, I hit the green answer button. “What?” I barked, hitting the gas even harder.
“Hello to you too. Just wondered what time you were going to be home. Ash brought over some lasagna for us.”
“I won’t be home tonight.”
“Aren’t you getting her from work later?”
“Nope. You can. I got shit to do,” I answered casually. “Maybe you can fix her car and I can stop being her fucking chauffeur.”
“What’s gotten into you? Is this because we’re going to see Mom tomorrow?”
Shit, I’d forgotten about that. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but I did relish the idea of making her see what she missed out on all these years. I was going to say my piece and leave, and I had no plans of ever seeing her again.
“Yeah, that’s it,” I lied. “I have to go.” I slammed my finger on the red button, ending the call and most likely confusing the shit out of my brother.
I couldn’t be around Ashtyn tonight. Not after hearing everything she said. Everything Bronx said. They didn’t have much faith in me, and it seemed like Ashtyn was using me as a bandage for her problems. Normally I wouldn’t mind. It’s not like I wasn’t benefitting from the arrangement, but with how she treated me fortwo years, for her to do this to me now was hypocritical.
We had something special–her and me. Two kids from the wrong side of the tracks with parents who didn’t care if we were still breathing. Ash with her big heart and me with my cold and hollow chest. Something about her soothed me and made me feel like the empty pieces inside were filled. But that shit was my heart–or what was left of it–playing tricks on me. I was never anything but a way for her to waste time–a distraction, as she so eloquently put it.
I needed a break from my mind and Axel’s was the perfect place to do just that.
“Fuck!”Axelyelledathis TV as I walked into the pool house. He was playing his Xbox and jabbing at the controller, screaming into the microphone on his headset.
“Something wrong?” I asked as I went to the kitchen to look for a drink.
Cade had an away game so it was just me and Axel tonight. I usually brought Bronx with me, but he was the last person I wanted to hang out with.
“Fucking cheaters,” Axel mumbled as he whipped the headset off and tossed it on the coffee table. “No princess?”
I was pouring a glass of whiskey and the mention ofhermade my hand jerk and spill the putrid alcohol on the counter. “She’s working tonight. But I’m putting things with her on the back burner.”
“Why?”
I shrugged.
“You’re getting pussy every day. Ash is cool as hell–for a chick at least. She isn’t a bunch of drama. You’re fucking happy for once, bro,” Axel said as I sat on the couch, downing the glass of whiskey.
I pulled a joint from my pocket and lit it. “Hearing her and Bronx talk shit about me behind my back was enough for me.” I took a hit slowly released the smoke. “I don’t care how tight her pussy is. Or how hot her mouth feels on my cock. Or how sweet she tastes when she comes.”
“Fuck, stop that. What’d they say about you?”
“That I’m a self-saboteur. That I’ll hurt her.”