I took the long way home, needing the time to get my mind right. This was one big cluster fuck, and I needed to figure out how I would handle everything and find a way to tell Remi her life as she knew it was all a lie.
It was bad enough her life was complete shit but to have parents who were part of her torture was something altogether different. Children should be loved and cherished, not pimped out and abused. They should be protected, not abandoned. Remi had a set of parents who never gave up on her, never stopped looking for, wanted the chance to know her, and love her, but because of some asshole, she was dealt a shitty hand.
Through it all, she handled everything that came at her as best she could. She kept her head high, even when everyone around her wanted to beat her down. She was strong and resilient, but even the most formidable individuals had a breaking point.
I wondered if this would break her.
I spotted the turn-off to the viewing peak, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It was a beautiful place hidden away from the main road. Not a lot of people knew of it, mainly those that lived in the valley. Parking my bike next to the guard rail, I leaned forward and looked at the ocean. It was gearing up to be a beautiful day. Yet, I could see storm clouds over the vast horizon.
I grinned at that. Yeah, even mother nature knew shit was about to hit the fan. The problem with that was I just didn’t know how bad it was going to get.
I thought it funny that both Remi and I were subjected to the same treatment fifteen years ago, and while we were both rescued, I went on to live my life while Remi was thrust back into the darkness. Yet, she seemed to fare better than I did. She accepted her fate better than I ever could. I still held onto the hate while she seemed to let it go. I didn’t understand how she could accept what happened and not be angry.
I blamed everyone for what happened to me for the longest time, then I blamed just myself. Unlike Remi, I had a family there for me, talked with me, supported me, and let me fight, cry, and stay silent. Whatever it was, I needed to get my head right with what happened. But I still couldn’t bring myself to accept it and move on. Every time I thought about what happened, anger and rage bubbled up within me until I lashed out and wreaked havoc on anyone or anything around me.
I couldn’t think clearly when my demon was close, and he was close most of the time. He hovered, lying in wait to lash out in any way possible. I feared that Remi would be on the receiving end of my rage one day and that I would seriously hurt her.
A few of the brothers learned to subdue me over the years when my rage got out of hand. Even then, it took a toll on them. It wasn’t right nor fair to them because I couldn’t control my emotions.
Regardless of my problems, I would have to wait. Remi needed me, and I was determined to be there for her. I still hadn’t told her exactly what was going on, and I needed to soon. I just hated the thought of upsetting her, and she would be upset. Hell, I would be.
Looking out over the ocean, I wondered what it would be like to live out there, free of demons who lurked around every corner, free of the terrible dangers man could do. It would be a lonely existence. I knew that, but to just sail away, letting the ocean take me wherever it wanted to, seemed like heaven. But I knew there would be no heaven without Remi.
In the short time she arrived, she became my world, my anchor, and my reason for doing better. I wanted to see her happy, I needed to hear her laughter, I desired her hugs, kisses, and body. She had become so much more than I ever realized she could be.
She was everything to me.
“Thinking pretty hard there, Reaper.”
“Jesus. Fucking. Christ!” I shouted, turning as a tall behemoth of a man walked out of the tree line. Leather-clad and massive, the man slowly walked towards me. His stature was tall and impressive. He looked more like a GQ model than a biker, but he was a Golden Skull to his bones. Getting off my bike, I waited till he was standing before me before I pulled him in for a hug. “Where the fuck have you been, man? Is Shadow with you?”
Stepping back, I looked up at him.
Yeah, he was at least seven feet of muscle, grit, and iron to my six foot four.
“Yeah, Shadow is checking in at the Clubhouse, along with Massacre, Bayou, and Viper. We were in Montana. Adam and his brothers needed my help. Stayed around incase Doolittle needed help with the new chapter when I heard you might need my help, too.”
“Damn man, I am so glad you guys are back. Got some shit goin’ down. It’s bad man,” Reaper replied. “How are Adam and Doolittle? Haven’t seen them in a couple of years. They still doing the horse thing in that freaky town. Treasure Cove, right?”
“Yeah. They found their woman.”
“They still sharing?”
“You know it. I hear you have an ol’Lady?”
“How’d you hear about her?”
He grinned, “I’ve got my ways.”
“Grimm,” I said quietly, shaking my head. Fucking silent, grunting bastard.
“Little brother never could keep a secret.”
“I wouldn’t know. He doesn’t speak. He only grunts.”
“He speaks, but no one listens.”
“Does he know you’re back?”