“No, I am Michael.” The word is uncertain, like he doesn’t believe it. “But I am also this. Do you think I’ll forget Under?”
“I don’t think so. I don’t want to. What if there’s a way to help others who are stuck here?”
He nods. “That would be good. But not everyone will want to change. Some like being a monster.”
A smile forms as hope takes a stronger hold. I search the desolate landscape for Tail, but I can’t see him. What will he look like when he changes back? Who was he before?
“That is true, no matter what they look like.”
Michael tilts his head. “Did you hear that?”
I stop and listen, but all I hear is the beating of my heart, pulsing through my veins. I shake my head.
“Tail is giving us a warning. We’re about to have company.”
I spin around searching for Tail or approaching monsters. At first, I see nothing. Then I notice there is dust on the horizon. Is that Tail or the others?
The rattling drifts closer toward us, then Tail, sliding low over the ground like a snake with his arms tucked by his sides, is next to us. He rises up to rest on his tail, putting his head level with Michael’s and above mine. He stares at Michael for a heartbeat. “First fingers and now lips…let’s hope you can hold onto them in a fight. There are three monsters approaching, semi-human. I haven’t seen them around here before.”
“We are close enough to home that they are within our area.” Michael says with a grim twist to his lips.
“You have areas?” I’d seen no signs, or marking that might denote boundaries, but then I haven’t been looking either.
“Not really, but we tend to stay in the same space to avoid confronting others. Unless we want to confront them and take what little they have.” Tail gives me a pointed look. “I think word is getting around that there is fresh meat and that she is unchanged.”
I swallow hard. “That matters?”
“Better eating,” Michael says with his gaze on the dust that is drawing closer. “Some lurk around the puddles for the easy hunting.”
“Really?” I force the word out, not sure that I want to know. Or think about what they’ve been eating while they’ve been here. Is that why he’d been near the puddle?
Tail grins, revealing two sharp fangs. “Yes, it’s much easier when you don’t befriend them.”
“You mean when you aren’t fucking them,” Michael snarls like he is still sore about Tail and me this morning.
“That too,” Tail agrees.
“You didn’t remember being like them when you ate them?” Or did they rip in because they were so hungry, they didn’t care?
“By that stage, no. Nothing mattered except surviving, no matter the cost.” Michael turns to glance at me. “This fight will take memories and make us more monstrous. You need to be prepared.”
I nod, hoping that I am. “Will you remember me?”
If they don’t, will they eat me in the unfun way?
Michael cups my cheek. “I will try.”
Tail studies us. “How about we aim for living first and let Julie sort out what happens after. You might need to make the deal with us again if we forget.”
If I must, I will, assuming they live. “Can’t we run away? Do we need to fight?”
My two monsters’ glance at each other and I know they have discussed something without me.
“What?”
“We aren’t ready to go to the center yet. We need to fight to change and become bigger. If we don’t, you won’t get anywhere near the queen.”
“Oh…” And somehow, while their bodies are changing, I have to help them find their humanity and hold on to it, so when it is time to leave, they can. Because as much as I’d like to imagine that we reach home and all of this falls away, that isn’t true, otherwise Gran wouldn’t be changing little by little every year.