She believes I am kind.
That the monster she calls Tail can be kind.
That we care about her. How can I care about someone I can’t remember meeting? But I know the answer from the way she has treated me. If all I know about her is what I have seen today, then that is enough.
Tail, who had streaked ahead, stops to wait for me to catch up. Julie sobs in my arms and it hurts my ears.
“You said that you could resist, that you wouldn’t change.” He rattles as he speaks, fury radiating off him. “Put her down. This was a waste of time. I should never have hoped things could be different. Now this,” he flicks the bony collar. “Was for nothing.”
“You’d have fought someone eventually and changed more. It’s what happens.” I set her on the ground, and she drops to her knees as though her body can no longer hold her up. Is that a change or just her reaction?
“She promised us she wouldn’t change.” There’s a hiss to his words as the snake in him rises to the surface.
“What does it matter if she has? We are going to the center.” While I have a safe place, a cave where I can hide from others, I can’t do that forever.
“You didn’t even want to go. You thought it was a stupid idea. I convinced you it was better to take a chance instead of hiding in the dark.”
I don’t remember that either. All I have are a few vague impressions. My mind is being stolen bit by bit. I can’t even grieve for what is lost because I don’t remember. I don’t know if Tail is telling the truth. I don’t know if Julie is either.
“How can I trust what you say?”
“What, you don’t trust me because I’m a snake? Is that it? You’re just a big dumb beast.” He moves closer like he wants to pick a fight we me.
He is fast and has venom, but I can break him if needed.
Julie lets out a yip and then covers her mouth. Her eyes are wide as she stares up at us.
To me, she looks the same, except for the tips of her fingers. There are now dark claws where there had been pale nails.
I ignore Tail and crouch next to her. “What’s wrong?”
She opens her mouth to speak but no words come out, only another yip.
“Well, that’s great. Now she can’t even speak. How the fuck is she supposed to remind us of our humanity as we fight our way to the center, where we hope to magically find a door home and turn back into humans?” He rubs his hands over his face.
I press a kiss to the top of Julie’s head.
I am compassionate. I am human even though I don’t look it.I can hold on to that…at least until the next fight. Then who will tell me what I need to hear?
Tail slithers back and forth like he is filled with a tension he can’t release.
“Stop that. You’re distracting me, and we need to think.”
“There’s nothing to think about, Michael. This is done. I wanted to believe she was different, but she isn’t.” He moves closer to her and leans down to her eye level. “Do you remember what I told you? That I’d start with your toes?”
She nods, but I don’t remember.
“Well, I keep my promises.”
Before I can react, he lunges for her foot, and then darts back. Blood wells where he bit her toe off. “What the fuck?”
I step over Julie to go after him, but she grabs at my leg and shakes her head.
“I’m not going to hurt him.” No, I want to kill him. I can make it fast and painless. But in my next breath, I don’t want her to lose her faith in me, and that is more important.
She shakes her head again and gives a mournful howl, like she doesn’t want me to leave her side. There is no one else around. On one side a ridge of mountains rise, the rest is a flat plain.
“He bit off your toe.”Fresh meat.I called her that once. I’m sure of it. That’s what all new arrivals are. They are either food or potential rivals. And when we first met, maybe all she saw was a monster. “We don’t eat our friends,” I shout after Tail, my supposed friend.