“Do I need to be told what I already know?” she asked curiously.
“Right.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “The thing is, what you did was still an accident. You didn’t mean to do it.”
“That doesn’t make it any different. It doesn’t make it any better and doesn’t absolve me of the loss. She was everyone’s true delight. She was tiny. She was perfect. She was this angel we all loved.”
“And I get that,” he said sadly, hating her pain. “I really do. But you can’t be held accountable for the rest of your life. The guilt alone is too heavy of a burden, without adding in the loss of Jillie. The best you can do is live your life in a positive way to help others and to make sure that you don’t get caught up in something so massively toxic like that again.”
“You don’t get second chances in life,” she said.
“How would you feel if the traffic pattern did get changed?”
“It would make me feel better, but it’s still too little, too late, all because I know I can’t bring Jillie back.”
“Maybe not. But what if you could save another little girl?”
“Then I would do anything. But I also know that nothing I can do will change it.”
“Maybe. Have you had anything to do with that group who was working on it?”
“No, not really. I tried to get people interested in trying again, but everybody was pretty well depressed about it, and I haven’t heard back.”
“Right. That’s something I could look into.”
“And what good would that do?” she asked.
“Maybe nothing, but, until I try, until I look into it, I wouldn’t know.”
“You do that”—a note of bitterness filled her voice—“but it won’t help though.” With that, she disconnected.
It was weird because he was talking with her, and he didn’t know if anybody was listening to her or not. Then Simon remembered the other man who spoke so harshly to Pamela. Simon tried to contact her again. “Are you still in danger? Who was that man yelling at you the other day?”
“He’s part of my family. He was yelling at me because he loves me.”
“Ah, is that a little bit of twisted love?”
“Love is love. When you’re like me right now, you take whatever you can get. Because of what I’ve done, I’m unlovable.”
“You’ve got to stop saying that,” he snapped.
“That’s true,” she said sadly. “Like I said, there are no second chances in life.”
“But there are.” Simon was getting really annoyed at her.
“No, you’re just living in dreamland.”
“And what are you living in?” he snapped.
“Reality,” she whispered. And she disconnected again. Even though he tried hard, it blew him away that somebody who supposedly didn’t have any abilities and didn’t know how this worked was capable of shutting him out, even though he seemed incapable of shutting others out. How did that work? It seemed like everybody else was better at this, and they weren’t even psychics.
Frustrated, he sat back down again and sent Kate a text.I contacted the blind woman again.
Good. Did you get an address, a location?
No, but she’s not at the husband’s apparently.
So she’s at the mother’s then. The mother said something about her, but also said that she wouldn’t let anybody in to see her.
We need to track her down.