Roger shook his hand, and then Elliot’s body trembled all over, tilting backwards so violently Knight had to grab him before he fell on top of the remains.
For endless seconds, the room was silent, but Gray took hold of Shadow’s hand and helped him up, watching Elliot awaken, once again in control of his flesh. Knight then walked around the bed, guided by the no-longer-visible ghost and opened the pajamas on the skeleton, revealing the empty ribcage.
When Shadow’s arm slid along Gray’s shoulders, they were both tense, anxiously waiting while Knight switched on his flashlight and took it in his mouth, searching through the remains. Gray’s adrenaline spiked when Knight picked something up and placed it in the middle of his hand.
“Show me!”
When Knight illuminated his hand with the flashlight, for a moment Gray didn’t even notice the jewel. It was tiny. Barely a speck of red the size of a poppy seed.
Shadow voiced the sinking feeling in Gray’s chest. “It makes sense. He’s been living on it for a very long time now…”
Gray clenched his teeth, staring at the glinting red splinter that looked more like the tiniest shard of glass than a powerful ruby. His chest was throbbing as he faced Shadow. “Is it…?”
Shadow’s smile didn’t reach his eyes, but he kissed Gray, acting as if everything was fine. “No, it’s great, it will last me a while.”
“A while? How long is a while?” Gray asked in a voice that was too shrill. He cleared his throat, trying to even out his breathing even though there was a black hole opening in his chest, about to suck in everything he loved.
Elliot and Knight must have felt it because Knight pulled on Elliot’s hand and they pretended to look out the window.
Shadow’s shoulders sagged. “A week maybe?” His whole posture screamed of disappointment. “But that’s an extra week to look for another one.” He gave Gray a kiss so full of love Gray resented it. He didn’t deserve any of this affection.
He’d let Shadow down. He’d held the Pigeon Heart in his hand, and he could have used it to save Shadow’s life. And yet he hadn’t. He’d done what seemed like the right thing at the time, but he didn’t know any more if it had been the correct choice. Magpie had been gathering natural rubies for three centuries. So many gems were gone now that even Gray had no idea where to look for stones that would fit the bill. Perhaps there were some old ruby earrings in someone’s attic somewhere, but how many would they have to gather to sustain Shadow for a lifetime? It wasn’t like Shadow could just spot them at random or smell them from another State.
It was a lost cause.
He would lose Shadow, and there was nothing he could do about it.
Gray rubbed his forehead. Breathing was a struggle, so he marched out of the room, seeking a moment of solitude. He couldn’t do this in front of Elliot and Knight.
As expected, Shadow followed.
“Gray… it’s okay, it really is. I can handle it. I’ve come into this world not counting on a chance to stay. We will do our best to find more, but even this one is a week more with you. I’m happy about it. You risked your life for me today.”
Gray stormed into one of the open rooms and started pacing between a single bed and a desk piled with dust-covered books. His muscles hurt as if someone were burning them with fire. “Why are you so calm? It’s only a week,” he said and shut the door as soon as Shadow was inside.
Shadow smiled. “Yes, one more week with you.”
Gray roared, for a moment itching to punch Shadow straight in that soft smile. But that would have felt like hitting himself, so Gray tossed some books off the desk instead. Shadow wasn’t even gone yet, and it felt like his heart was bleeding already. “What is wrong with you? Don’t you care about this?”
Shadow curled his shoulders and shed his smiley demeanor. “I… I just… I’ve seen how much you suffered because of your brother’s death. I don’t want to add any more pain to your life.” He wouldn’t meet Gray’s eyes, a heap of misery hiding behind long hair.
Gray instantly felt guilty over hurting Shadow’s feelings, and he stepped closer, grabbing his hands as a new idea struck him. “Baal can take energy from a person. Can you do that? Could you feed off me? Share my life?”
Shadow peeked at Gray from behind his dark locks. “No, I’m not like Baal. I’m your shadow. I can’t make pacts. I used to live by your side, but now we’re parted. And I worry that when I go you will lose not only me, but your arm too.”
Gray needed to repeat this in his head to realize what had been said. Wheezing softly as he breathed, he stared back at Shadow, completely deflated. “My arm? What the hell does it have to do with anything? I don’t care about this arm if I can’t have you. I don’t care about anything anymore,” he said and eventually sank to the old mattress, sending a cloud of dust into the air. Every single cell in his body ached in anticipation of the upcoming agony.