“I get it. It’s kind of frustrating how painful getting well can be, isn’t it?”
“It sure is, but”—Ryatt shrugged—“they’re doing so much better here.”
“They sure are.” She looked over at him, smiled. “So are you.”
He stared at her. “Are you always this positive?”
“Absolutely,” she murmured. “I like to smile at the world to counter all the ugliness that makes for too much negativity all the time.”
“If you say so,” he replied, returning her smile. “It’s not that easy to change though.”
“Maybe. Being happy isn’t something we do instinctively. It takes time to change that mind-set, and it can take work to stay positive, even for those seemingly predisposed to it.”
He nodded. “I get that. I just wasn’t so sure, being around you, whether it was natural or not.”
“It’s absolutely natural.” She laughed. “I’m surprised that you would think otherwise.”
He shrugged. “Sorry, I’m not trying to be negative about it all.”
“That’s okay. I think it’s just a challenge for me to see somebody who doesn’t have the same happy mind-set I do. I guess I’m also projecting that on others. But then there’s the opposite viewpoint. Like my dad. And, in a way, I’m sad for him.”
“And why is that?”
“Because I the think Dad missed a lot when stuck in the negativity. I know he still does, even all these years later. It seems there’s still so much going on in his mind that isn’t normal and natural, and yet I’m sure he probably feels more comfortable that way because it fits his negative outlook, even though it’s not really what it should be.
Chapter 4
Lana spent thenext few days popping in as often as she could to say hi and to see how Ryatt was doing and checking on his mood. It was a bit of a concern to know that she was interested in somebody who had a mind-set so different from her own. Yet she seemed drawn to those people, to help them, much like her persistence with her dad. Her friends told her that she had more patience than any of them would show their dads should the situation present itself.
Even in her prior job, one of the managers told Lana that she got all the difficult marketing clients because she had not only the patience and the common courtesy to treat them well, but scould even make most of them soften up, be less belligerent. To be honest, it had been a shock for Lana to hear that. No one at any of her jobs had ever mentioned it before. Yet, when Lana shared this comment with her friends, they all laughed and agreed.
“You didn’t know that was your superpower?” asked her best friend Sharon, shaking her head.
Lana didn’t feel powerful at all. And she wasn’t sure if Ryatt’s negative attitude was something that he would continue to improve or was that really just who he was. According to everybody else at Hathaway House, that’s what he was like, and they had warned Lana that he wouldn’t be the easiest person to get along with. She already knew that because she’d seen him at his worst in the beginning. But everybody, especially when they were down and out, had a right to be out of sorts temporarily and to not be judged for it.
People handle stress and tough times in their own way, and she wouldn’t judge them or Ryatt for having a hard time getting through things. After all, he did lose a lower leg. She couldn’t imagine adjusting to that would be quick and easy. But neither did she want to get caught up with somebody who would always be down and negative.
She frowned as she considered that, since it seemed she was already assessing this new relationship with him and wondering whether it had legs, so to speak.
And what was wrong with her to even think along that line? It was early days, for sure. And she wasn’t the type to change another person. Yet she knew these differences could lead to problems pretty quickly. She had witnessed her girlfriends get all agog over some guy because he was different from them in whatever way. Yet, not long afterward, what was new and different and interesting became the very thing that tore apart their relationships.
Considering the future was Lana’s normal thought process when first forming a relationship with a guy, but then she wasn’t as experienced as many of her friends were. Lana had always had more of a discerning nature. Her friends called her “too picky.” Whereas a lot of those same friends jumped into relationships, seemingly without care, almost as if the relationship jump was supposed to be this fun activity, instead of seriously trying to find somebody they were compatible with.
Lana understood that, for them, it was maybe the right thing to do. However, for her, it wasn’t. So she’d always kept herself a little bit apart. Some of her friends had teased her about it, but they had respected her decision. And even though some guys had shown a lot of interest in her, they also had turned that interest to her roommates fast enough. The fact that they were then easily interested in jumping into bed with somebody elseat the same time had made it all that much easier for Lana to continuously turn down their offers.
Lana just hadn’t found anybody she wanted to spend that much time with. But then apparently that was mutual, as the guys didn’t waste much time on Lana or her other girlfriends either. These guys also jumped into relationships and got out of them almost as fast. She’d asked her girlfriends about it once. One had said that consensual sex was an activity to enjoy in the moment. No ties. No commitments. No other connection needed.
Lana’d just nodded, and they’d all agreed to disagree.
Yet her girlfriends continued to talk about their various boyfriends, even discussing sexual traits that each of them knew about because they’d already been to bed with the same guy. Lana had found that difficult to hear. She’d asked them, “Are you not jealous? Not upset that these guys are just going from woman to woman?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Teresa had responded, “because we’re doing the same thing.”
“Right, so as long as you all know what you and your partner are doing, nobody is supposed to get hurt?”
“Exactly,” she said, smiling. “And, if you wanted to get into dating, you know a lot of guys would be interested.”
“Not for me,” Lana had declared instantly.