And that’s where it stood today. She’d had a couple relationships that she had thought, at the time, had lasting possibilities; she’d thought that they were good to go the distance, but they weren’t. And it had made her very wary over time of seeing something there that wasn’t and would never be. She kept looking for somebody who was her type, her style, somebody who wouldn’t be all about here and now but more about the long-term.
Back then she and her girlfriends—and their various boyfriends—had all been college kids. So a lot of youthful exploration had been involved on most people’s parts. Now that Lana had been here at Hathaway House for as long as she had been, which wasn’t all that long, and she’d seen the relationships here, she’d realized that these were more aligned with what she wanted. These were the relationships with staying power. Maybe she’d just been too young to hang out in that group. They weren’t into the same things that Lana wanted.
That had been a lesson that she had learned quickly, and now, having found somebody she was interested in, she found herself comparing him to her prior relationships—even those of her girlfriends—and maybe that wasn’t fair. Still it was almost human nature to look at him and wonder.
When she was having coffee with Ryatt one day, he nudged her gently. “Earth to Lana. Earth to Lana.”
She quickly stared at him. “Sorry.”
“What were you thinking?” he asked curiously.
She shrugged, embarrassed. “I was just thinking about relationships. And how so many are here. And they all seem to work. Yet those others I see—with my friends, for instance—don’t work. They typically end so fast.”
“Ah, but I think the reason for that’s very simple.”
She smirked. “Let me hear your theory then,” she teased, “because I’m trying to figure it out.”
He smiled. “Here at Hathaway, the people they’re involved with, the half who are injured, are in a completely different space now. When life gets tough later in a normal relationship, you don’t know who’ll show up,” he explained. “But, in a place like this, you already know who that person is. You already know the worst about them because they’re here. They’re already in the most difficult stage of their life. And, although they might want something different for themselves, they know perfectlywell they’ll have to work for it.” He motioned at the building around them. “So, in a way, seeing people here is a gift because you see people at their absolute worst. Therefore, if you can live with that version of them, you then know—potentially—that the relationship’s got some depth.”
“And you think that out in the real world people don’t show up as their true selves?”
“They don’t have to,” he said quietly. “When you think about it, everything is going well for them. So not really any need for their true self to show up. It’s only in adversity that we’re put to that kind of a test.”
“And what are you like under adversity?”
“Well, I was pretty cranky to begin with”—he gave her a charming smile—“as you know.”
She laughed. “If that’s the worst,” she said, with a wave of her hand, “that’s not bad at all.”
He stared at her. “I think a lot of people would argue with that.”
“Ah, then they haven’t been dealing with very many different people in the world.” She smiled. “Like my dad, he has a temper. Yet I also knew that the temper itself wasn’t the problem, as it was his way of coping with the trauma going on around him. When my mother died, that’s when my real dad showed up. And it wasn’t pretty. He still has a long way to go.”
“And that’s what I mean,” Ryatt stated quietly. “If you could handle your father at that stage of his life—while already dealing with your own pain and grief—and yet can still love him, you’re blessed, and he’s blessed that you were and still are there for him. That’s a relationship that obviously can stand the test of time.”
She nodded slowly. “Hmm. You know what? I hadn’t really thought about that relationship so much. I was thinking back on some of my college days and all the relationships around then.”
He winced. “Is there anything more painful than college days?” he asked in a teasing voice.
She chuckled. “Particularly in my case because I wasn’t into the whole dating scene. I was much more about making sure that I didn’t waste the money that had gotten me there. Plus, I had part-time jobs on the side because I wasn’t wealthy. I had to apply for student loans—and pay them back—and I had to pay for books and food myself. So going out to the pub wasn’t something I could afford either. With all those issues going on around my college years, dating was just tougher.”
He nodded. “But just because it was tougher doesn’t mean it was bad.”
“No, I hadn’t thought about it as being bad. It was just a different experience for me than for a lot of people.”
He nodded. “I get that, and yet people change. If you were to reconnect with a lot of those friends now, you might find that they’re very different people.”
“I was wondering about contacting one of them, as she lives in Houston, and I could fly down there and make a weekend trip of it. She was my best friend in college, and we’ve lost track. Most of the others just blended into the world.”
“Interesting,” he murmured. “Might be good for you.”
“Maybe.” She smiled. “But then again, it seems like…” She stopped, shrugged, and finally added, “Seems like a long time ago.”
“So you’re afraid there won’t be anything now to reconnect with?”
“Foolish, isn’t it?” She checked her watch and stood. “I have to go back to work.”
“Never seems to be much free time, no matter which side of the divide here.”