“She is.” And he left it at that, then pointed at his watch. “Can’t keep Shane waiting.”
Between Ryatt’s full-time rehab schedule and Lana’s multiple jobs, she didn’t get to see Ryatt as much as she would like. She felt that Ryatt would agree with her there. Still, even being crazy busy, she noticed Ryatt was kind of emotional over the next few days. Finally she couldn’t contain her curiosity and brought it up. “I’m always asking what’s going on in your world, but it seems like something else has shifted with you again.”
He stared at her, an odd look on his face. “My sister’s dealing with some family stuff, which then triggered some stuff for me.” He gave a wave of his hand. “Once that initial trigger happened, it just triggered more stuff.”
“But you’re dealing with it?”
He nodded. “I’m trying to.”
“I gather you have a great relationship with your sister?”
“Absolutely I do, but neither of us had great relationships with our parents.”
She winced at that. “I don’t think there’s anything more important than a parental relationship, and yet so many of them are dysfunctional.”
“Yeah, that’s one word for it,” he stated, with half a smile. “Our folks were dysfunctional in so many ways. And it’s sad because it affects all of us for so long, and it just seems so unfair. And you?… How are you doing, after losing your mother? It must have been tough.”
“You never can plan for death. An instantaneous death must be such a shock. Yet, even knowing my mother was dying of cancer, I was still not prepared for it. My mother was sick for a long time, so, in many ways, her death was a release. Yet feeling like it was a release also made me feel guilty—because it seemed like it was a betrayal that I wanted her gone. And, of course, I didn’t want her gone, but she was in such pain, and I did want her to be free of that. When her body gave out, nobody could do anything more for her. But it was… It was so painful, so sad,” she murmured. “The physical separation hurts so much, but eventually I found peace within, as I carry the memories of her with me forever. And, with time, I have more good memories than bad.”
Ryatt nodded. “It was different for me. I was definitely the favorite in the family because I was the boy, yet there wasn’t a whole lot of joy in the family. When things get ugly, it takes all the joy out of life. I wasn’t planning on ever dealing with it, but my sister brought it up, and I kind of felt like I needed to confront it too.”
She smiled. “You know something? I’m really proud of you for that.”
He stared at her. “Why? You say the darndest things.” When she just continued to smile at him, Ryatt shrugged. “I come from a world where not many people say anything nice. You are a breath of fresh air. So thank you for being you.”
The next week Ryatt spent as much free time as he could with Lana, while trying to avoid Shane in the common areas. Not on purpose necessarily but, every time he ran into Shane, it reminded Ryatt of that sense of failure he had in his PT sessions and how he was afraid that he would be sent away because he just couldn’t do as much as Shane thought he should do.
Finally Lana asked him calmly one day, “What are you trying to avoid?”
“What are you talking about?” he asked.
“Every time I see you, you’re almost furtive, as if you’re trying to avoid someone.”
He winced. “That obvious, huh?”
“Yep, that obvious. What’s going on?”
“I just feel like, since I’m not getting the progress that I should be, I’m afraid they’ll ask me to leave,” he admitted finally.
She stared at him in shock. “I don’t know if they do that.”
“I think they would have to from a financial standpoint,” he murmured. “When you think about it, Hathaway House is still a business.”
She nodded her head slowly. “I guess it is at that. I don’t know of it happening to anybody yet.”
“And I don’t want to be the first one,” he muttered.
“But still, wouldn’t you then want to see Shane to find out if there’s more that you can learn and do?” she asked quietly.
Her voice, her tone, got him. He looked over at her. “I’ve thought about that,” he replied, “but I don’t know what else I can do. I figured, if I brought it up, then it’s just putting it in their heads.”
She snickered at that. “I’m pretty sure, if it’s something that they’re prepared to bring up, it’s already in their heads.”
He winced. “And that just makes me feel like a bigger idiot after all.”
“No, not at all. The fact that you’re worried about it means it’s something you need to bring up because that worry alone is holding you back.”
Ryatt stared out moodily. “It is eating me up.”