“Not soon,” Dani corrected. “You’ve got months yet.”
“Do we?” she asked in fascination. “He seems to think that his future has now become a burning issue.”
“That’s because, with somebody like him,everyissue will become a burning issue,” she noted, with a smile. “He takes every aspect of his life very seriously. And so, as he works his way through this, he won’t let anything get in his way.”
“No, you’re right. He’s quite dedicated to everything, isn’t he?”
“He is. He is an intense personality.”
Lana nodded. No warning had been present in Dani’s voice. Her boss had just been stating a fact like a fact. And it was true; Ryatt was a very intense personality. He was also fascinating, and he was the only person in a very long time to have even caught Lana’s attention—outside of curiosity and, in general, good feelings. There was something very special about Ryatt. “It is hard to know what to do,” she repeated.
“Well, one of the biggest things,” Dani noted, “would be to just relax and to see where it goes. And you’ll find out soon enough if something’s there.”
“And if there is?”
“Then you have to work out some details,” she stated. “But, if there’s love and if there’s enough of it, the details will be worked out because compromises are a natural part of life. Regardless of what the relationship is, there’s a compromise involved. So you have to determine what the compromise is and whether it’s something that you want. But, if it means keeping him, then you already know the answer.”
Lana laughed. “It’s such a funny thing to even think of having met anybody here,” she stated, with marvel in her voice.
“Well, it is and it isn’t,” Dani replied. “We’ve had a lot of relationships start in this place, which has been lovely to see.”
“I’ve been privy to watching a few of them develop myself, but I was always kind of, you know, detached.”
“Of course, because it was somebody else’s problem.”
At that, Lana laughed again. “And there is nothing, absolutely nothing, like the pain of not knowing where your relationship is going or where you stand in a relationship.”
“So you may want to clear some of that up, as soon as you can.”
And, with that thought, Lana returned to her office. How did one clear up something like that when she didn’t even know necessarily where she stood? Of course Dani was right; that was one of the hardest things.
Lana was determined to ask Ryatt about it, but, when she saw him at lunch the next day, seated at a table with no food before him, he already looked exhausted and worn out. She knew, whenever Ryatt arrived at lunch in his wheelchair, that he had just had a grueling workout session with Shane. Lana was just pleased that Ryatt had finally accepted that the wheelchair had its advantages, like a badge of courage. Yet he refused to eat in his wheelchair, moving over to one of the standard dining room chairs. Lana loved how unique his viewpoint was.
He looked at her, gave her a half smile. “I think I’ll skip lunch. I’m feeling pretty rough.”
“You want me to bring you something down later?” she asked, worried.
He shook his head. “No, maybe I’m just doing too much.”
“Well, you’re definitely pushing it, and I think you’re starting to worry about it.”
He looked at her, thought about it, then agreed. “You know something? You could be right. It’s just hard to be sure. I feel like I’m on the precipice of a brave new world, just not so certain I’m brave enough for that new world.” He gave her a mocking grin.
“You are,” she said quietly. “I’ve never seen anybody braver.”
He stared at her and then smiled. “Thank you for that.” He got up slowly, obviously hurting, to shift from the dining room chair to his wheelchair. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked, a question to his tone.
She nodded. “Absolutely, go and rest up.”
As Ryatt slowlymade his way back to his room, he had to wonder even why he had this hesitation in his life. He should just do his darndest to lock up that relationship, so Lana wouldn’t think him indifferent and seek another. They could work out right now whatever it was that they needed to work out to face the future together. He wasn’t even sure that they needed to work out anything; he just knew that he still had a lot of stuff in his own head to deal with, and he admitted that he was no prize at the moment.
Maybe he wouldn’t be a prize at the end of the day either; he didn’t know. There just seemed to be so much to deal with sometimes that he couldn’t quite get himself wrapped around it all. By the time he made it to his room, he was beyondexhausted, and he just collapsed onto the bed. Shane found him an hour later. Ryatt opened hazy eyes.
Shane walked in closer, frowning. “Are you okay?”
“I’m not. Although I’m not sure what’s going on, but I feel pretty rough today.”
“We can skip the afternoon session, if you want.”