He flushed. “Maybe.”
“Maybe?”
“She’s going through some of her own stuff right now,” he murmured. “And sometimes I think… well,shethinks that maybe we’re too close and that we’re more friends than anything else.”
“Well, you’re friends unless you choose to delve deeper and to become something more,” she explained. “You want to be on a level within a relationship where you both agree on a lot in life. At one point in time all the mystery will be gone because you’ll know each other so, so well. Yet, at the same time, you also want somebody who you know will be there when you get old and gray and when you have a setback in life. Someone who knows you so well to understand that the setback is temporary and that you’ll get back on your feet as soon as you can. That you’ll adapt and do the best that you can with whatever life throws at you,” she added. “There are different levels of knowing. I don’t think anybody who’s met each other for as short a time period as you have”—giving him some inclination that she already knew aboutthe relationship—“would already know each other so well that there isn’t any room for growth.”
“No, you’re right,” he replied quietly, “but it’s more about convincing her of that.”
She grinned. “Well, I have faith in you. I absolutely know that you can do this.”
“But is it right if I have to do this?”
“Meaning, if you have to work at it? All things are work. Look at how much you have to dedicate yourself to your recovery here. Is a relationship any less work?” she asked him gently.
“No, I don’t think so. Maybe,” he said, still confused. “Now you just twisted me all up again.”
“I’m not trying to,” she replied, “but, if it’s something worth doing—just like being here and doing the rehab right, so you don’t have to come back again—then also a relationship is worth doing right too.”
“But I feel like it should be right, just from the beginning.”
“Which is an interesting attitude. Without even thinking about it, when I ask you a question, just give me a number rating. On a scale of one to ten, how much do you like her?”
Immediately he said, “Thirteen.”
She grinned. “On a scale of one to ten, how much would you like to have her beside you when you’re old and gray?”
“Fifteen,” he replied immediately, his voice getting softer.
“And how about when you’re both sitting on your rocking chairs, looking out over the years of your lives, having entwined them together, how much do you want her to be that person who’s sitting there, having been with you through the thick and thin of everything that life’s thrown at you?”
“One hundred percent,” he rasped.
“So tell me,” she murmured, “what’s the problem?”
He looked at her in surprise. “Is it that simple?”
“Why would you make it complex?” she asked gently. “Your heart already knows what it wants.… Your mind is struggling to give it permission. The question you have to look at is why.”
“I have no idea,” he said, bewildered. “That makes no sense that it would.”
“Sure, because it’s fear.”
He winced at that. “Fear again, huh?”
She laughed. “Yes, fear is great at causing all kinds of things to twist up on the inside of us and to make a mess of things.”
“And how do I get rid of that fear?”
“What’s the worst thing that can happen to you in regard to her?”
“She turns me down,” he whispered, feeling his gut twist and realizing that the doc was right. It was fear. “Or that she isn’t necessarily 100 percent on board with her and me.”
“Of course she isn’t because you aren’t. And she can sense that. All women can, and so can men. I mean, the minute you change your attitude, you’ll see an immediate reaction in hers. She’ll still have her own fears to deal with,” she murmured, “but they will be her fears, and you’ll help allay those. Whereas you’re the one who has to allay your own.”
“Right. Now that you’ve given me a ton to think about, I think I’ll go crash. My brain’s on overload.”
She smiled. “Maybe, but I have faith in you,” she said. “You want something really badly out of life right now. And I know that it’s a good thing for you. So I have faith that you’ll get there.” And, with that, she waved him to the door. “Go on,” she said. “Rest. Relax. We’ll talk again.”