“Oh, I don’t know,” he joked, then let the words flow. “How about the fact that I love you, that I’d love to be at your side while you’re rounded with my child, and I’d love for you to hold my hand through the years as we age together, and I’d love for you to be the person who sits beside me on the front porch, when we’re both old and gray—staring down at the years behind of us, smiling, because it’s been such a great ride, and looking forward to the years ahead of us.”
She looked up at him, and more tears were in her eyes. “You love me?”
Ryatt reached up a hand, gently brushed the tears off her cheeks. “Of course I don’t know for sure that that’s what you want.”
“I love you too. And that’s what I want more than anything, a life spent with you,” she whispered. “I hadn’t even considered it in that light.”
“That’s because not all of life is that simple or that easy.” He smiled. “As it’s been pointed out to me recently,” he murmured, “an awful lot of hardships and ups and downs have to be gone through in life, but I want to be that guy who steps up and is prepared to do what’s needed to be done,” he murmured. “So I won’t always be right, and I won’t always be wrong,” he said, with a laugh. “Yet I will have my fair share of being both.”
“Nobody needs to always be right,” she whispered, brushing tears from her eyes. “And nobody can be expected to always be right. It’s too much stress on anybody,” she murmured. “All we have to do is try to be the best that we can be at any time.”
“And some people would say that’s a very simplistic way to go through life,” he murmured.
“Maybe,” she agreed. “However, that’s not a bad way to look at it or to go through life, in my opinion. We all need help sometimes. We all need something to make us feel better when we’re down. Often it’s just the confirmation that we’re loved.”
“That’s true,” he murmured, “but I think, more than that, we all need somebody else. We need somebody to hold us in the evening, to share a sunset to look at, to hold us in the morning when we wake up, to see something special in the dawn, or to share a thought that suddenly hits our brain cells when we’re talking to somebody. I want to reach for that special person—you—to explain what’s so special about that earlier thought and why it’s so special that you are here and are listening and understand,” he murmured, studying her quietly for a long moment, before he continued.
“I don’t think love is something that needs to be breathtaking or earth-shattering. I think it can be that quiet smile inside your heart when you see someone,” he murmured, reaching upto gently brush more tears dripping down her cheek. “I think it needs to be that extra-special thing that you can’t define with words because it chokes you up from the inside, and it makes you realize that you have no other way to express it or to explain just how it feels. Plus, it should be an inner knowing that accepts people aren’t perfect and that we’re all in a state of becoming,” he murmured, “that every day some of us will make mistakes, and every day some of us will do something great or have the potential to do something great. It’s a matter of having patience and tolerance and acceptance.”
She looked up and smiled. “I think we can handle that.”
“I’d like to think so,” he said, with a gentle smile. “I haven’t done all that great so far. But I know that every day is an opportunity for change, every day is an opportunity to do better, and every day is an opportunity to show you how much I care.” He brushed her cheek gently.
She smiled. “What makes you think I need more than that?” She clasped his hand. “I didn’t expect to find a relationship here,” she murmured. “Honestly I just… I’ve seen so many patients come and go, and I thought they were all so truly blessed, when I saw the relationships happen along with the medical successes. Sure, a part of me was a little jealous. A part of me wished I had somebody with me, but it wasn’t something that I was actively looking for. And then you showed up, and you were cranky and miserable, and you basically kicked me out of your room.” She grinned broadly. “And I knew that something was very different about you. Everybody here is always upbeat and positive, but you were just the real you. And I had to appreciate that.”
“I don’t ever expect to be a perfect husband,” he murmured. “I know I’m as flawed as the next man, but I can tell you one thing.” He paused, focused on her fully. “I promise I’ll love you every day of your life, and I’ll cherish every moment we havetogether.” She shook her head, and his heart froze. He sucked in his breath and waited…
When she realized what he’d assumed, she immediately cried out, “That’s not what I meant. I just can’t imagine that you would ever be anything other than that. It’s been so special to have you in my life in this short span of time,” she explained, “that I want to make sure that we cherish all the time that we do have together.”
He nodded. “I’m with you there.” And he grinned. “But for a moment…”
She threw her arms around him and held him close. “Nope, nofor a moment here. Maybe I thought this was what would happen when I came in this morning. I don’t know. I do know that I was pretty desperate to have some answers.”
Ryatt nodded. “Me too. I figured fear was keeping me back, and fear was possibly keeping you back. Then somebody mentioned to me what I was like when I was active military, and how fear was not something I allowed to hold me back, and I agreed. I realized that that’s exactly what I was doing, and I didn’t want to be that person anymore, which is why I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for the last few days. Yet it seemed like we were constantly being interrupted.”
“As if life conspired against us,” she murmured.
He smiled, pulled her close, and whispered, “But no more.”
She nodded. “We’ll have a lot of explaining to do here though.”
“No, we won’t.” He laughed. “Everyone at Hathaway House is already expecting it. What we’ll need is some patience in order to get me out of here.”
“I’m not in any rush for that,” she murmured. “I need you as healthy and as strong as you can be. And, no, not for my sake but for yours.” He stared fondly at her, as she continued. “You think I don’t know that it’s important to you that you be as fit and asstrong and as healthy as you can be? Because I know it is. You keep thinking it’s for me, but it’s not. It’s for you.”
He nodded. “I had to learn that too. To stop looking at doing things for other people but to do them because it was the right thing to do for me. Nobody will be surprised about our relationship,” he added, “but they’ll all be happy for us.”
“Not quite as happy as I will be.” Then she stopped, frowned. “What about your sister?”
“She’ll be even happier. And I want to get on my feet and in much better shape, so I can walk her down the aisle, and then it’ll be our turn.”
She looked up at him and whispered, “You haven’t asked me.”
His eyebrows shot up, as if suddenly realizing that he’d missed something, and he nodded. “You’re right.” And he had missed something; he just hadn’t gotten that far. She’d thrown everything off-kilter.
He gently held her chin between his fingers and whispered, “Lana, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife, becoming the mother of my children, and holding my hand through thick and thin, being there through all the years that we may be blessed to have together?” he murmured. “And accept me when I fail, offer your hand when I need help, and be there when I feel alone? And I promise I’ll do the same.”
With more tears in her eyes, she whispered, “Yes, dear God, yes.”